Feeling helpless, going through a major binge and need some help

This is my first post and I would greatly appreciate some suggestions, advice and support.

I am a 25 year old female. I weigh about 215 and wear a size 16-18. I have been steadily gaining weight since high school, when I was a size 12-14. My compulsive overeating behavior started in middle school, although I never really identified it as a problem until about 3 years ago. Of course, the triggers and intensity of the binges vary. Although I feel that I was conditioned to overeat from a young age, and most of our family functions revolve around eating, my overeating seems more serious than any of the behavior I have observed in my family members.

I felt like things were getting a little better; I was trying to eat healthy and really start taking care of myself. I had lost about 20 pounds. Now, in the last 3 weeks, I have been feeling out of control. For example, knowing that my roommate is out of town this week, I planned a binge in advance. I waited until she left town to go grocery shopping for chips, cheese, snacks and chocolate. I have since gone through about half of that food, when I have fresh produce and healthy food available to eat. Then, today I called in sick to work because I couldn't find anything that fit to wear because it seems that my bingeing has caught up to me from the last few weeks. So I stayed home and ate constantly throughout the whole day.

I am not even hungry right now and still thinking about what I'm going to eat. My stomach has hurt all day and I have been having digestive problems. I'm lethargic all the time, which contributes to the binge cycle. I also have Depression which is intimately tied to it as well.

I know how to eat healthy and excercise, but this complusive overeating always gets in the way and ultimately defeats my efforts. I have checked out the OA route, but I just don't feel comfortable in that sort of setting and I dont' think it would help me. Does anyone have any sort of suggestions to help me control my compulsion and get a grip on this problem? Thank you so much for your help. Tweet