Starting Day 1 of X

Hi! It is difficult to express my gratitude to you. I am so happy I found this forum!

I tried to start my first fast last Sunday but could not. I am an emotional eater and have many things to heal, obesity one of those; but my depression and my tendency to eat to hide away from life happenings are killing me. I simply have to heal that the most.

So, I am armed with knowledge about my own personal "demons". I decided to start my fast today. I dont know how many days will be for me (a minimum of 4, a maximum of 40). I did not want to have a number of days as goal, since I am new, and want to do it in the healthiest way to increase my self esteem.

I know that hunger per se will not be so terrible. But I am guarding myself against little dissappointments and/or small joyful moments. Years ago I got into the habit to overeat due to very bad events. But, with the passing of time, this tendency got worst and I ended up eating for little things. Only that I did not realize it until later, or until a few weeks ago, I should say.

I am extremely overweight. I am 5'2'' female with small frame, and I am not a young girl anymore. My son tells me my muscles are non existent, that I will never see them. But I know they are somewhere to keep my body moving, and take comfort thinking that my hight fat readings is the best reason I can have to fast. As of now, no one in my immediate family knows I am fasting. I intend to keep them all ignorant about it, since I live alone with my Cindy (my adorable dog), and she is the most supportive creature in this world, besides you all, of course.

I am a little nervous about this. I know that the emotional me will be faced with many things I never wanted to think about it, but I just have to do this now, for my health, for my life.

I will be reporting on daily basis, and listening from all of you. God Bless you all!