Re: Depressed.... i keep getting in bad relationships. Pls help

The way I see it here is that there are a couple of fundamental mistakes made. I hear this all the time and I dont understand it- if you want to be with someone, if you really like someone then why play games and see other people or even sleep with other people. It sounds like a real kindergarten game saying "yeah but he did". If he did and you like him and its been such a short time you have known him, just go. When you meet someone and its right, no games will be played- he will like you, you will like him and going to bed with someone else is no option. If he or you cannot do that, then whats the point of going any further? Its not like you have been married for decades. This is what its like, when its good and its real, it will be easy...... so if you notice it isnt easy, especially in the beginning, chances are it just isnt right.

Secondly, whats this thing about taking care of each other after such a short time? How did he make it all these years before you came along? Well, somehow he did. You shouldnt get so deeply involved into someones (compplicated) business after such a short time. You need to keep the security distance. You can be a friend but it doesnt mean you have to offer him to move in or lend money etc. His problems should be his business unless you both decide to be together and its serious....he can share and talk to you, you can try and help but dont involve yourself. Just like your money issues and a mortgage you have to pay should be none of his obligations to worry about.

When you meet someone try concentrating on having an innocent good time. No need to skip the nice steps. Go out, have dinners, date someone, have fun, get to know a new person and all that but dont let them in too early and dont let them run in the door with a truckload full of luggage from the past and dump it in your life. And keep your luggage in a safe place until they ask to see it.

So my guess is when you start looking at your patterns some of your issues might be attachment, closeness, control, distance and looking out for your own needs..... Tweet