Day 11-feeling much much better!

My day didn't start off that great. I got up and drank about 20 oz of water and went for a walk to get some fresh air in my system.

I felt so horrible yesterday and I really wanted to make an effort to feel better. I realized that I felt a bit better drinking cold water instead of room temperture water like I have been. It has always been my preference unless I am really hot and need something cool to help me cool down.

I did a bit of shopping today and walked a bit. I have walked 64% of my daily goal, but I am not wearing my pedometer because I changed into a summer dress which I can't wear it. LOL

I looked all the food and took in the feast of smells. It was just nice to enjoy the things that many people take for granted. I smelled Bar-BQ chicken that smelled heavenly.

Oh, yesterday even though I didn't eat, I fixed a plate full of food for my friend, who has just woke up from sleep. I actually had fun, making sure she had a little bit of her favorite foods. I had to keep calling from the kitchen to find out if she like Potato salad or Mac salad. LOL. It wasn't just about the food, but just being able to help her. Being a servant to a person in need. God is really working with me. Touching things in me that everday life blurs or destroys.

My mind and heart are becoming more and more God orientated in all the I do. It took a while to take over, but I think I was feeling so miserable that I was fighting that so much. It was almost like it had to break my will to get me to see and feel in a deeper level. I took a nap today and fell alseep with my Bible. I am happy.

I noticed yesterday I had a bit of intestinal pain as well as today. I then remembered from my 55 day fast that I used an enema to help flush out things out and I read that it helps release detox systems. So, I gave myself one. I didn't think it would do much because I did't have the funny feeling in my abodmen that you get then you have to go. Finally I just went and I couldn't believe it. I really thought I couldn't possibly have anything left in my my intestines. But I did, more then I ever believed and that is why I was feeling so toxic at times. My body was telling me that it was trying to get rid of it, but some reason reason, it just wasn't moving along like it normally would. Man, do I feel ten times better. I have energy and I don't feel ill at all!!

I will have to remember to do it again if I feel ill like I was yesterday and some what today.

Now, this fast will seem so much easier to deal with. I can do much more then I could a couple days alot and I have energy. ENERGY!! Of course, I don't push myself too much, but it is hard to explain the difference I feel now. Just doing that helped so much.

My weight has stablized as I knew that it would at 118 lbs, but I can still see the changes in the my body, as it tones up. It is always nice.

Person A called me today, but I missed his call. Since he doesn't have a working phone there is no way I can call him back. I really don't know what I would say to him if we did talk.

Person B is frustrating me. I am ready to throw in the towel with him. He wants so much in such a little bit. He opened his heart to me, on his own willingly, yet now he is wanting me to do the same. I can not, at least at this time. Love grows differently for each person. He wants to know if I am his everything or nothing. He doesn't know how much longer he can hold on without me sharing with him.

I told him the honest, bold true. If he can't hold on, he can't hold on. It might be my loss, but it will be his loss too, because he wasn't patience to my needs as well. It might hurt him, but it hurts me too. I had to be honest, no matter if hurt or not. I will not say things to save face or to garner someone to stay with me. I say things from the heart. And my heart is not ready to say, quiet yet what is growing. God knows this.

I have peace in the sheltering wings of God. It is wonderful. I am internally happy where I am at this point in time. No matter what might happen between Person A or Person B, I will survive, because I have God. And no matter it might be lonely, it is all I need.

It is great to read post that so many people are doing so well on their fasts. Big Beat keep it up and a couple others I have read to!! You CAN do it. RAH rah! I am cheering you on!!