Re: 57 days Marina free!!
Hi there
I dont know where to begin telling my story but since reading your post things are making alot more sense. I have only had the marina in since 12 February 2008.
I wrote a poem , i think you can call it a poem.
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Bit by bit I loose myself in a world of color
Creativity flows through my veins like streams through a river
little bits of paint peal of as idea upon idea unfolds
my art i can not express save through mumbled words
if I could draw I would be lost in my pencil sketches of wonder
my life is myne yet my action thus of other people's wishes
i go through a life well worth living but withit not my own
I seek a slow redemption but not from others but from my hidden self
I know not what I speak yet warm tears for tell a different story
It is peaceful here but within I scream a silent longing whisper
the mountains of my soal are barren the field yeald no crop for the mind wonders
Surrounded by people but truely so alone
remembering a time when i was a rebel I had my own cause my own way
now im just a puppet no mobility without a master
will my soul for ever wonder or will I find my own way again
for I am but an expressionless artist my pencil is my heart
make up is my shield and walls I construct to protect an emty vessel
for now I will sit here blankly staring into my vission untill you arive
hurry though for bit by bit I fade to blend into colorless color.
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<3 What Im trying to say is I dont feel like myself im irritable , exploding inside, i feel like i want to cry for no apparent reason I get anxiety attacks, i get hectic mood swings,feel depressed, and god forbid i have very little sexual appatite, symptomps i never had and i get myself lost on the way to work , home even when i go visit my parents . Im unhappy for no apparent reason , my body is reacting strangely i have no energy for life or physically and my menstrural cycle is completely off, i all of a sudden get period pain which i have never gotten before and i have what feels like a pricking pain in my womb. I hope I dont sound like a moaning old cow. Im just desperate to find a solution. Please help. I have not had children yet but got the marina because of the massive amount of preasure i was under as my husband did not want children nor did he trust the alternative contraceptives. Im scared that making the decision to have the marina put in , judging by my current "state" Im terrified this will end our relationship... Am i being over eager to find the reasons for my uncharacteristic behaviour should I just stick with the doctor's word (seeing as he says it looks perfectly in place to him)and stick it out hoping these random outbursts would subside or should I rather get "tested"?