Re: advice about husband that had an affair???

1. The line between love and stupid? ha!
2. How is your husband the problem? You admitted that your hormones were freaking out and causing you to rage. Do you not see how that could push your husband away? You can't expect men to be able to understand, or empathize with, female hormonal issues! Also, your husband is being stalked. Sure, he did something wrong; however, he is seeking counseling with you. He is still getting over the trauma of your chaotic hormonal patterns, as well as the guilt of his affair, and he has a stalker. Now I'm not saying that this is your fault, or the other woman's fault. All of you are at fault, if you want to play the blame game. But if all parties are at fault, then what's the point in that?
If you genuinely see your husband as the problem, then you probably should seek individual counseling. You just said that if she went away, then you would have a good marriage...but if your husband is the problem, then how are you supposed to have a good marriage when she goes away and not him? That makes absolutely no sense. I think you are confused in trying to defend your husband as well as justify his situation and your situation, and also blame him for it all. It's one or the other, babe, and you can't make a life-altering decision if you can't figure out whether he's the problem or the solution.

You've already discussed divorce with him so you've started the downward spiral. You might want to start working your way back up before you're in it too deep. Nobody can give you a reason to stay or leave. If he is still contacting her, then he's not taking your relationship seriously and you might want to suggest a restraining order if she is still stalking him. See how he responds to that idea and you might have your answer.