Re: More than 10Years of this..but I'm weak..?

Wow, that sucks. No you are not weak at all. But you are in definite need, and I suspect in great pain.

Your wife sounds unstable. I wonder how this is affecting your children? You must also wonder about that.

If you go to the abuse forum and look for a poster called Soul Survivor, please go into one of her posts and at the bottom there is an option to read her posts "on all forums". I would do so. She is a survivor of abuse, and her advice is very sound. She had to leave an abusive relationship (for fear of her life) and she left her kids with the abuser. The children are all struggling and some are starting to exhibit similar behavior to her spouse. It's potentially a very dangerous and damaging situation, for all of you.

Hey, we are all damaged to some extent. It's quite common to feel guilty for your inability to correct the situation, or to save your children, or yourself. People that live with highly unstable spouses often self correct, and actually enable the spouse to continue their behavior, sometimes in greater degrees, usually out of fear. I've been there so I totally understand. Many of us actually have.

I say you are not alone because there are many men out there just like you. As a society we accept male upon female domestic violence much more readily than female against male. You must seek help to be able to deal with this. I would strongly suggest you call a national abuse hotline.


http://www.dahmw.org/



http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_ef...


There are more. All it takes is a simple google search. Call them all...talk to as many of these organizations as you can. They will give you alternatives, advice, local resources. You must do this to learn how you can deal with this situation. Be very smart about this. The best thing you can do is be honest about your situation and open up to other's experience.

Good luck to you. I can't even imagine how hellish this must be. When I suffered my abuse at least I didn't have any children. But you can believe this, the feelings of worthlessness, sadness, fear, distress, guilt, all the negativity involved is shared by all, male and female alike.

I hope everything works out for you.

Molly

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