Re: Zapping trees

What you do is take a chainsaw & carve a deep hole in to the base and the toward the top of the trunk, so that you can reach the sap. The sap is liquid & will offer more conductance. Wait until it's raining, because that's when the sap's alive and will reach deeper in to the grain. Drive a large nail in to the holes and connect them to the car battery with jumper cables. Rev up the engine so the battery wont run out. Then disconnect one of the jumper cables from the negative terminal & start tapping the battery terminal as fast as you can. If you really want to give it a high vibration you could sit on the negative battery terminal and clamp the jumper cable to your tounge, and sing at a high pitch. The trees should really respond to that, cause they resonate at the high pitch of creaking wood, when the wind blows. Let the tree rest a few minutes & then repeat. Make sure to do this in the rain so that the rainwater can wash away the parasites that leave the wood. Then stuff the holes with Black-Walnut holes, and paint some tar over it so it doesn't rot. Finally, in gratitude for this message, and for having driven out all the parasites from the tree, dance around the tree, chanting "The Trees are Free Now! I love Trees. I freed the Trees! and give the trunk plenty of hugs and kisses before leaving.