Re: Feeling Lost

hi, sorry to hear you are so down, but having been through a similar time, I can only feel optimistic for you . The first thing that struck me though was in wondering what are you doing with your time? Do you have any hobbies? Are you painting or drawing? Writing stories, or poems? How about music? Can you play? Can you learn? guitar, piano, drums, or just writing songs. Liaten to Dylan, and the doors are good because morrison was a poetic soul who burned with onspiration, but was also a lonely, sad soul. That song was Shaman's Blue's, from the Soft Parade album. All of the things i mentioned are cheap or free, and they will give you valuable ways to fill your time with creativity and challenge. Also, they are great for sharing with people, whether learning or teaching. I'm sure that in NYC if youare into any of the above there will be free gatherings all over the place.
If you're not into that stuff than find what it is that you like to do and do it. at the least get outside, it's springtime and the world is waking up! If you read you could go after some Henry Miller. He spent his life into his late 30's in NYC barely ever having any money, but he was always on the go, meeting people, reading and expanding his mind, and ultimately realizing his dream of becoming a writer. He left New York when he was about 42 to live in his dream city of Paris, and he did it, without a penny to his name! If it interests you start with Tropic of Cancer and then try the Rosy Crucifixion, sexus, Plexus, and Nexus.
It's important not to let the lack of money hold you back. It's just one small facet of living in modern day metropolis. I know, you're young and it's fun to have money to go out and do stuff with friends, we all want it, but it's no excuse to sit on your butt, and be down. monet comes and goes, life is short, and goes fast. I hope this finds you well, let us know if any of this hits you.