He hates it here
I'm having a problem with my SO.
He's on vacation in another state right now. He's supposed to come home tomorrow evening but he's not wanting to for different reasons. I know he hates flying and a connecting flight he was supposed to be on, on the way over there, almost crashed. He saw it on the news because he had someone pick him up and drive instead of getting on that flight.
He also HATES this area. We were living in one state and I moved back to our original state because things were getting rough for me, and between the two of us. Shortly after, he decided that he didn't want to be without me, so he moved down.
Well, he hates this town and hasn't made that many friends (I hardly have any...at all) and he's currently in a place where he has many. His dad there also said he could move back in there if he wants.
I don't even know if he's coming home tomorrow or not. He doesn't want to live here. I'm just trying to finish school. I don't know what to do. I've been looking forward to his return all week. I need him as my friend, emotional, and financial partner. I've been on the verge of anxiety attacks ever since he started talking about that. He might go to a different state instead and prolong the vacation but I need him here now because I just lost my job, the day after he left.
I feel like he's stressed out that we're going to be in a stressful situation when he comes back and it's going to make things worse because of the fact that he isn't happy here. It's only going to be worse if he stays longer and doesn't come back to work...also I'll be freaking out. I don't have any comfort or security and I'm lonely.
He usually caves and comes around to do the right thing but I'm just so worried right now. I knew he hated it here and I was afraid this was going to happen. He just wants to be in a place where he has a bunch of friends...and he has three places to go for that...none of which are good for me and my schooling. I also think it's ridiculous that he has groups of friends in all these places because all of mine have scattered across the country and state and the people he's talking about have gone nowhere and done nothing...I don't think that's something he should be attaching himself to. I mean, I know I would want to, if I could...but I can't and it would be no good.
I just don't know how to deal with him not being ready to rely on his SO as his best friend and absolute top priority. I am one of his priorities, but I think the negatives of living here are outweighing the positives. The only thing for him here is me and he's being pulled away.
I don't know what to do.
I just had to let this all out because I've been spending ALL day EVERY day for the last five days sitting in this apartment by myself with my dog and cats because I am afraid to spend money, since I'm not sure when income will be steady again, and I don't want to be out doing random things when I haven't found a job yet. So I've been sitting here working on a resume and applying for jobs, etc etc...plus, like I said, I haven't many friends...or really know anyone very well so I'm just stuck. I'm so anxious right now.
On top of that I think he's feeling guilty and having trouble talking to me about this.