Something weird that helped me-I made a video

Well if you have read my other threads you know I am working on doing EFT for the emotional issues surrounding my quest for healthy skin.
Today I decided randomly to start a sorta "video diary" about my journey with treating my skin. So I made this video just of me talking for a minute or so about a little background about the disease and how long Ive been dealing with it, etc.

I think this was a really good thing for me to do.

See, I hate pictures since Ive been ill. I always stare at my skin and think how disgusting I look in the picture, etc. All I did was look at my skin.

Well when I played this video back, I looked into my own eyes while I was speaking. I watched the way my mouth moves when I talk, the expressions I made. It was weird for me, Ive never seen myself that way before. I saw what others see when they look at me (its something that doesnt come across in a picture). I discovered little mannerisms and things that I never even knew I had!

Anyway watching this video, you can definately see my scars and acne, but I didnt feel I was disgusting watching it! I thought I looked like a normal looking girl who yes, had a skin problem, but I honestly didnt sit there and stare at the acne, I more noticed my eyes and my mouth while talking, etc.

This helped me so much. When we have a physical disfigurement, we feel so terribly self concious about it. We think everyone can see it, and while they CAN see it, unless they are a horrid person, they arent going to sit there and focus on it and think about how disgusting you are (and yes, there are horrid people like this out there, Ive encountered them but do we honestly want to impress these types?), what they are going to do is listen to you speak. If you can look people in the eye and speak with confidence, this is what they will pay attention to.

Ive always known this to be true but seeing myself on video helped me a LOT with truly understanding how others see me. I just wanted to share, in case this might help someone else who is feeling really bad about themselves because of their facial illness or scarring.

PS- Now maybe the next step is getting the confidence to actually POST one of my video diaries! lol Ill get there one day...

<3