Contrast launches desire! + edit

I've had some contrast these past 2 days with my parents being really critical of the way I bring my kids up. They want me to be much stricter and less allowing, and silly me decided to have an argument with them!!

What I now realise, is that I was not so much arguing for the freedom of my kids (and they do have that because of who I am now), but for my own personal freedom which was squashed flat when I was young.

I recall, even when having the argument that my inner being was saying "Stop, turn the other cheek, pivot this, look for something you like to focus on ...." ... but my physical being was trying to be right, trying to get one up on them. Once I had a negative thought, it grew more thoughts in the same direction and so on until it escalated into me acting like a teenager having a temper tantrum LOL!. This is running on default, no conscious creation here!

After the argument, I found myself biting my nails! Wow, I haven't done that in a LONG time, and I recall how all my childhood years, my nails were bitten raw and would bleed constantly.

I'm aware that nail biting is frustration turned inwards – eating away at the self.

So, I will have to think on how to process this so I don't keep activating this in them. It also made me think back to my childhood and how their constant criticism of me made me become who I now am. Guess I should thank them :-)

I do realise that my parents are not in a place to hear what I have to say. I remember Esther asked Abraham if her parents needed to hear LOA stuff and Abraham said that they were not in a place to hear this information. So, it was foolish of me to even go there. This was me pushing against something outside of me that I don’t have control over.

Anyway, this has launched a massive rocket of desire to clean up my vibration on my childhood ... parents, siblings, old friends from school etc. I think it will be very healing.

To quote Sanctuary "I have studied spiritual practice for decades. I know this stuff, I really do. But it's one thing to know it. It's another to live it."

To live it, I realise I must take care of my own vibration on anything that doesn't feel good. Most of the time, it's some old thought pattern or hurt or judgement that keeps being triggered. There are no new thoughts "They don't care about me" "I'm not good enough" "It's their fault" “No one loves me” .. etc. we’ve all had these thoughts at some point in our lives.

So, my plan of action will be:
1. Use the work of Byron Katie to clean up some judgements
2. Use EFT to tap in some new positive affirmations.
3. To do a book of positive aspects on each person, and find all the good things about them for me to focus on until I can activate that vibration.

No one has to change, only me. It’s my job to clean up my vibration. This is the path to Peace.

I love knowing that I AM the Vortex!

Love
Maya X

Edit: The work I did on this is here:
//www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1109363#i
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