new years resolutions.

well..I have decided that in light of everything I have been thinking about so far, in terms of all this crap.I have decided that it would be my best interest to work out the issues first before dragging anyone else along into the black hole of an abyss that is presently known as 'my issuezzzz' lol.

I have never really dealt with whats wrong and just kinda covered them up or used things to get over just to get by.Things like jealousy,aggression,projection,anger,possessiveness,insecurity and just a general lack of respect and appreciation for the other person.

I don't know why I can't respect nor genuinely like the person I choose to be with.
I tend to really resent them or put so much blame and anger onto them.I hate the ones I love the most..but I genuinely love them.Part of it has to do with my feelings for my folks and just generally how I was brought up.I like sex and I love to bust a nut..but that seems to be the least of my problems right now and it does not solve any issues as all not surprisingly...not even close.


I have alot on my plate and so much to do in the next few months..with school coming up and wanting to take some boxing to vent all this anger I have..it's just too much to handle females.They really strike me so hard at the core it's not even funny...
no one knows the pain they inflict on my heart,no one..I act so cool and distant,but it's kinda an act..kinda like a challenge,like- is anyone woman strong enough to break down these walls? the treasure is worth the troubles,I promise..though I would NEVER reveal such details in reality.My venom has been cured and cultivated for soo
long..I don't blame people for keeping their distance,it's exactly what I put out..'leave me alone'.

All of this is gonna be hard because I am so hot/cold all the time..sometimes I can be a horrible flirt and be relentlessly attractive,other times I am plotting your death while you sleep and carving your name in bullets visualizing worse.

nice combo eh?


anyways..enough blabber..gotta hit the weights.






























kaybye.
O: