Near Death

I was 5 years old 51 years ago in Balboa, California. My brother,(7) and cousin (4)were at the beach. We were standing in the water, waves lapping up to our ankles in the Pacific Ocean. There we saw a sand dollar. The three of us wanted it. It was a better collection than a Stan Musial or Babe Ruth baseball card at the time. (And yes, they were my most coveted cards I would never trade and no, I am not male) We wanted it bad. But we were scared to go get it as we saw the drop off that could carry us away in to the undercurrent. Parents warned us about the undercurrent. We dared each other for a few moments and I said, "I'll go get it!" And I did. I walked down in to the downward slope, bent down, outstretched arm and fell in, with the rip tide carrying me fast, deeper than my 5 year old body could stand upright in. I remember grabing the sand dollar and down I went and was carried out to sea with the lapping waves in moments. I had heard that when drowning victims drown, they go up and then down 3 times. The 3rd time is death and I believed that then. I gasped for air the first time waving my arms frantically, and again the second time but the third time, I relented and stayed under water running out of steam and accepting my fate. I remember the cold water, then, I succumbed to the undulating waves under water and fantastically, I began to breath under water. There was no longer a struggle. I remember moving with the waves, eyes opened, and my short life flashed through my mind as though I was watching a movie. I remembered all the short instances of my life but the feeling, THE FEELING was that of complete calmness and breathing under water was amazing to me. I never left my body yet was so conscious of my body that I was shocked at the ease of it all. Tho the waves were crashing, all I experienced was peace, a cacaphony of silence if you will. I knew I was dying but there was no fear, no panic, just peace, and a knowing that there was something beyond this life that neccesitated no fear. I have never written about this before.... Tweet