The herpes virus does not live long at all outside the body. If it dries, it dies and it's also very vulnerable to any sort of cleaning including plain old soap and water, which kills it instantly.
Please, don't you or your hubby make assumptions about this. There are no winners in the "Blame Game".
How were you diagnosed? If it was a visual diagnosis, then it's not a good diagnosis. If you had it cultured, was it a type-specific culture? It's important to know. I am suspecting that, if indeed it is herpes, it could be type 1 which you might have acquired through your hubby performing oral sex on you. If he's ever had a cold sore, ever, then he has the herpes virus orally. In truth, a lot of people with oral herpes don't know that they have it as a majority of infected people don't have any symptoms, but they can be contagious at times.
I'd recommend that your husband get a herpes type-specific IgG blood test for both types 1 & 2. The Focus Labs HerpeSelect is a popular test and quite accurate.
If you'd like to get some support on this from some experienced people who deal with herpes every day, I'd recommend that you visit the discussion forums at http://herpeshomepage.com There are a lot of very nice and helpful folks there in that online community including some medical professionals.