sex after herpes

ok, i have had herpes for almost a year now. i am no longer with my ex-girlfriend and the one who gave me this gift that keeps giving. it has been about three months since we were together and i have yet to have sex with another partner, reason being is i completely avoid it at every angle. i am terrified of the embarrasment with telling anyone about my problem. i am really just asking for advice on how to get over this, and is it completely necessary to tell my partner if there is no outbreak and we use protection if i dont plan on getting serious with that person. please help. thanks.