It seems to me that you have an overdriven need to be loved and adored, and no doubt this may have resulted from your loveless childhood. But knowing this is not going to help you to overcome this severe negative self-image.
If we consider the negative self-image to be at the core of your problem, regardless of where it come from or how this developed in your personal social history, we can overcome this by mental practice in the here-and-now.