crazy

i just wanted to post something that i just thought of. i knew for awhile i was getting better and i would only eat fruits veeggies nuts/seeds. i looked up those nutritional values and would only allow myself an alloted amount of calories for each category per day...

when i was just becoming bulimic before i became a vegan i was a psycho about calories then too. i would only eat like three hundred calories a day and usually not even that. but when i shopped to binge and purge i didn't care i wanted as much garbage as i could find even knowing how many calories it was or how incredibly toxic it was to my body...eventually became a raw food vegan and all that and thought i was better. and i thought i was fine and now it's like im going through a cycle. i'm back to the i dont care stage i want all the garbage but only to throw it up i wont even eat unless i know i can binge and then purge.

has anybody else ever noticed cycles like this? i just think it's crazy that i'm so knowledgeable about all this and including food, exersize, and eating disorders and i still can't stope this. Tweet