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Surviving the Female Narcissist: A Deconstruction ...
Eric B
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Surviving the Female Narcissist: A Deconstruction by Richard Grannon
Surviving the Female Narcissist: A Deconstruction by Richard Grannon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UE5fZaAzXws
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU9xNc-P8GWAdafmAcNVi6g-
Narcissist, Psychopath, or Sociopath: How to Spot ...
Eric B
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This is a reply to # 2,417,273Narcissist, Psychopath, or Sociopath: How to Spot the Differences
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Narcissist, Psychopath, or Sociopath: How to Spot the Differences
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dv8zJiggBs
What is the difference between a sociopath, a psychopath, and a narcissist? Here to tell us is leading psychologist and author of "Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Narcissistic Relationship" Dr. Ramani Durvasula.
You can follow Dr. Ramani on:
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/doctorramani/
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Re: Surviving the Female Narcissist: A Deconstruct...
Vulcanel
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This is a reply to # 2,417,273Re: Surviving the Female Narcissist: A Deconstruction by Richard Grannon
Wow, that sure explains a lot of what I've observed. Thanks for sharing it. -
My thankful message was intended as a response to ...
Vulcanel
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This is a reply to # 2,417,273My thankful message was intended as a response to the first presentation you posted, for some reason it showed up as a response to the second one. After 25 years of computer forums, one might th ....
My thankful message was intended as a response to the first presentation you posted, for some reason it showed up as a response to the second one. After 25 years of computer forums, one might think these types of errata should not be extant.... cieste la vie
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Narcissist, Psychopath, or Sociopath: How to Spot ...
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Living with a Narcissist can result in Anxiety Dis... LuellaMay 7 y 1,512
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Living with a Narcissist can result in Anxiety Disorders
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Well, dear ones, this is my very first video on my youtube channel. I can't figure out how to embed it, so this is the link. I will be covering all sorts of topics in future videos, involving narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths, and how we can heal from the trauma we have undergone.
Oh, this video is a bit dark, but I will fix that in future videos.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_jvn0UqfdA
Love to all,
Luella
xo
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hahaha, good luck on the victim thing. Narcissi...
Vulcanel
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This is a reply to # 2,416,724hahaha, good luck on the victim thing. Narcissism forum will get nothing but a bunch of crybabies, complaining about how they’ve been ”wronged”. But, I know a lot of women who first would nev ....
hahaha, good luck on the victim thing. Narcissism forum will get nothing but a bunch of crybabies, complaining about how they've been "wronged". But, I know a lot of women who first would never get involved with someone too much into themselves, and others who walked away or ran, fast. If you think about it, blaming others, is of no value, we all make our choices and complaining about them, only reflects on ourselves. we are not perfect, so don't take it personally. People make mistakes. Lamenting about it, may be therapeutic in the short term but with time it will pass and a new day will dawn.
I was a "victim" of a "narcissist" if I want to frame it that way, but I personally choose not to. While some choose to engage in what I now see as "victimism", I've been busy refurbishing a house, put new brake pads all the way around on my awesome supercharged Buick, new rotors in front and gave it an oil change. Drove it at high speed on the open road and totally loved its handling. Ripped up a bunch of linoleum, and burned some brush. Still, lots of work to do.
I could lament about the other person being all into themselves, easy. Oh, trust me, they were. they totally were into themselves. But, aren't we all, to some extent ? Its a continuum, of reciprocity. When one goes over the line to the exclusion of the other, then it becomes inequitable, and unsupportable. As long as their is Love, as Chris taught, to treat one another how they themselves want to be treated, then, there is no problem. As I wrote on the other post, that idea trumps everything.
But, Luella if you think about it, god gave you better things to do. If you want to delete this message, it is ok, won't bother me. Clear, you're in a state of surprise, something someone did that made you "realize" something. But, its not as simple as you think, its actually more simple.
this is the important part....... by believing we ourselves are the victim of anything, whatever it is, we ourselves show our own narcissism. right ? If we were not into ourselves somewhat to begin with, we wouldn't feel victim to anything. See what I'm saying ? By claiming to be the victim of a "narcissist" or whatever, we are showing our own narcissism.
So forget about that lament. do it a little bit, it is natural, but don't make a mini-career over it and start any forums, such forum will go nowhere and only invite sad-minded people that reinforce one another's sadness. And it could turn you into a perpetual victim, when in fact God has other plans for you. Posters on your proposed forum, will be very few. They would be a highly specialized group who write about how "the other person" is to "blame". Wa wa wa. Easy, blame others. It couldn't be me, after all !! Actually, nobody is to "blame", and we are all to "blame". Relationships are a gamble, and nobody enters one without inherently knowing there is some element of risk involved, that the other person will be unreasonable at some point. Same with corporations, they sue each other all the time, mostly because "company X" was a narcissist, only into their own financial position. LOL. You never see Exxon calling Shell in a lawsuit, a "narcissist", because they each know, the're in it for their own interests.
Instead, just get out of your normal routine, normal travels. go other places, see other people being happy, they will inspire you , show you that happiness definitely exists and you can have it, and it is easy because God created us to be happy !!!!!!!!
The ones who drag you down, are the other lamenters who do nothing, but cry in their beer, like some on this site.
I have a lot of free time if I want, and you are welcome to drop by, I can show you many happy people.
Go forward, never backwards, and definitely don't stagnate with the losers who cry on the internet. You are probably better than that. I've helped a few people just see things when spiritual blinders were put on them, seems like you're just in a shit time right now but I guarantee it will pass. don't waste time with these internet people, they're not happy, they'll only drag you down to their misery level. Come see the Highland Lakes, come climb Enchanted Rock. Or, lament with trapper about how you all been victimized !! By the world !! Oh woe is you !! :)))) Break away from that shit, for sure.
You have better things to do !! I'm not your anything, only suggest, take a trip or something, see some new horizons, to open your mind, to put past things behind you and realize you have a different and better future waiting for you.
Basically, you're having adult growing pains. All you need to know, is that the future will be better than the past because you have grown. Simpler than you thought.
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Re: Living with a Narcissist can result in Anxiety...
LuellaMay
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You have not dealt with a narcissist. Its clear by...
Crazybear
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This is a reply to # 2,416,731You have not dealt with a narcissist. Its clear by the things you say. A narcissist is more than just a person who is stick on themself. I can’t explain to you what happens when a person ends up i ....
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You have not dealt with a narcissist. Its clear by the things you say. A narcissist is more than just a person who is stick on themself. I can't explain to you what happens when a person ends up in a relationship with a narcissist because I know you wouldn't understand. Beefing up your ride and going on about your business because everything is just fine isn't something that you would be doing if you were in a relationship with a narcissist, I promise you. And its not about being a victim. Its about finding someone who truly understands because they have actually gone through it. It is a traumatic experience that most, if not all, people can't walk away from without any damage being done. It actually sounds like YOU might be a narcissist. Most of you would never think that you could be one because that would mean that you are flawed and that is something not acceptable to a narcissist. If you're really not one then I suggest you do a little more research before you run your mouth because the definition of a narcissist is only the doorway into a very dark and disturbed place that doesn't make any sense. Now if you've been with a narcissist then you know exactly what that means. They are survivors because they are fighters and because they are strong minded. They have been to war and should be given the same respect and admiration as a soldier.-
Maybe you and Luella May can team up, and help peo...
Vulcanel
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This is a reply to # 2,416,802Maybe you and Luella May can team up, and help people who haven’t gotten beyond the victim mentality. We are all given free will, help others to unlock themselves, there are many existing resourc ....
Maybe you and Luella May can team up, and help people who haven't gotten beyond the victim mentality. We are all given free will, help others to unlock themselves, there are many existing resources for this. If starting a new forum, maybe look at what some others have done on this topic, so as to not re-invent the wheel. Internet forums are somewhat limited in their effectiveness, but a little bit is better than nothing I suppose. Maybe facebook or yahoo would give you more exposure, have you tried looking on there for any existing, similar groups ? If so, maybe you can join up and your contributions will be seen my more than on here. But you could also take things you learn from those other sources and share them here. Its limited only by your desire to devote time and I commend you as the soldiers you are for your altruism. Good luck.
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Have you read both my blogs and watched my video...
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This is a reply to # 2,416,802Have you read both my blogs and watched my video? By the way, from my research that has been in depth, only a narcissist will call someone else a narcissist, but don't take offense. ....
Have you read both my blogs and watched my video? By the way, from my research that has been in depth, only a narcissist will call someone else a narcissist, but don't take offense.
I am not going to defend myself and I am not going to explain why I don't show any "wounds" when I write but, if you saw my video, I do show them and describe them.
And, by the way, in other venues, I have gotten comments from victims of narcissistic abuse that I am "spot on."
If you would like to contribute as to what you have gone through, as a victim of a narcissist, I invite you to do that.
My Best,
Luella
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:) Glad you noticed that.
Its a serious matter...
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This is a reply to # 2,416,807:) Glad you noticed that. Its a serious matter for people involved in it. I already shared my ”hard love” viewpoint. Its not so much what I believe, but rather, why I believe what I believe ....
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:) Glad you noticed that.
Its a serious matter for people involved in it. I already shared my "hard love" viewpoint.
Its not so much what I believe, but rather, why I believe what I believe. Being an old person, the why part about it, could take a lot of writing !!
First point is, victims need to maybe consider Jesus' message of Love, forgiveness. Forgive the perpetrator, forgive the narcissist. Maybe that could be the banner message.
I've seen some claiming to be Christian, who have called me many names. It only shows in reality, they haven't got Christ's message, but its ok, there is still time for them. Its soooo totally not about me, after having experienced more trauma than most can imagine, I am quite well :)
Here's my redux below, and understand of course, this is a public forum that permits others to respond, so its only natural others will respond. Also, people have diffrences, otherwise, there would be no need for discussion forums, or, any need to vote at the polls. Life would suck if we all agreed. God created us to disagree, for the purpose of ultimately arriving at God's Truth, which is complex.
Now, on this victim mentality..... Yes, narcissist survivors are victims. So also were the African slaves, so also were the Irish slaves. So also are the husbands or wives of abusive alcoholic spouses. So also, are children of drug addict parents. So also were the Slavs who labored in camps in the second war. The list goes on..... all victims.
I am not a PhD psychologist but it doesn't take one to understand, that if a human experiences mental trauma, there is a timeline to it. You have 1 the initial phase of when it occured, which can be lengthy, maybe over years of "abuse". Then, you have 2 the realization phase, where the person comes to realize it (otherwise they would have quit being part of it), then you have 3 the part where they lament and self-reflect about "how that sucked" or "I was so stupid", then you have the phase 4 which is the twilight zone, where they are searching for some justification. Then, the golden nugget, 5, when you are free of it, and move on with life !!!!
See, humans have this need to justify things. Stage 4 above is where they say "WTF" was this all about, they are in a state of bewilderment, because, their previous belief system about the person who did them wrong, wasn't an accurate assessment. Who is to blame ? The actor, or the person themselves for not realizing it ?? Who is fat ? Why are they fat ?? Is it the baker's fault or the person who eats cake every day ?
I never liked cake, seemed unhealthy.
Can we tie all of these scenarious together ? YESS !!!!!
The question is, do we want people who feel victim to some trauma, to remain in a mental state of victimhood for a long time, or for a shorter time ?
If life is limited in time, which it is, the best choice is to get people out from feeling victimized, so they can move on with their life, and fulfill God's plan for them. Otherwise, it could only be the devil who would want to keep time in a lenghtened time stay visit in a state of bad.
Haha, I invited you to come this way, that is fine b/c trips to new horizons are never bad, but maybe I was assuming you are in a bad mind state but in reality are only looking at things you got over a long time ago and are being altruistic. Once, my girlfriend left me when I was in the 7th grade, and I was sooo sad, life seemed hopeless !! Then Sally came along and I totally forgot about why I was sad.
Trust me, I had many many many traumas and occasions to lament. And it was true to anybody who looked at it, I was definitely wronged !! Then my Dad expressed sympathy, but sternly asked me "who do you think else will care, and how long are you going to cry ?"
I think if you are going to have a successful forum, it needs to teach first the message of Jesus, which is forgiveness of the narcissist. And people who call others names on the internet, are to be ignored since they haven't yet got the message of Christ, refer them to the Jesus forum, they won't heal until they're willing to forgive. Second, is to realize there is more to life than lamenting, yet, I understand most people in the situation, don't have anybody. That is where you can come in, tell them they do have somebody, which is you, but more importantly, they have Jesus.
There is also the fact of being born a posterity of those who founded this country, when its applicable. But in any event, I think it best to remind people that God has a Plan for them, and God's plan isn't for them to lament for very much longer than the usual typical amount. Maybe the hardest part for some is that they don't perceive they have anyone. But then again, Jesus never called anybody names and never lied, so he's probably a good bet to latch onto his philosophies.
Let the dead bury the dead, he said. Luella May, I hope if you think God's plan is to work with narcissits survivors, that you do well. I don't know you, but I just have this inkling, God has better things for you to do. I'm allowed to be wrong of course, I hope you forgive me if I am wrong. Take care, V
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We are all victims of someone, or some thing. B...
Vulcanel
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This is a reply to # 2,416,828We are all victims of someone, or some thing. But, we have the Love of God behind us, and we are free to choose to let the past control our future. Some of us have gotten past what others ha ....
We are all victims of someone, or some thing. But, we have the Love of God behind us, and we are free to choose to let the past control our future.
Some of us have gotten past what others have done to us.
Some others have not.
I pray to our Great Father, to help Luella May assist those who haven't put their past traumas inflicted by others, behind them, so they can move forward with God's plan for their lives.
What a great life we all have, what great opportunities await us all, Lord, I pray, to remove the blinders put on your children by their past experiences, I pray someone will cite a bible verse in support of this notion. Thank You Father, for all you gave me including your protection those many times. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for the knowledge and wisdom, I pray you to guide me to use it only to fulfill your Will. I love you Father, thank you sooooo much -
HAHAHAHA! Actually, I've gone through ...
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This is a reply to # 2,416,828HAHAHAHA! Actually, I've gone through all those stages, especially the............. How could I have been so stupid phase. Actually, Vulcanel, you are brilliant with the way you ....
HAHAHAHA! Actually, I've gone through all those stages, especially the............. How could I have been so stupid phase.
Actually, Vulcanel, you are brilliant with the way you have dissected this. But we'll have to agree to disagree on the healing part. Some people can go through those phases and then heal on their own. But, some people can't and they develop anxiety, PTSD, or other conditions that are quite complex. And they cannot get over it on their own. They need help. Now, keep in mind, I am not this help they need. I'm here for support and guide them on what steps they need to take, or who they need to see, to help them heal, and this can take time.
Now, as for the victim and crybaby mentality.................. Maybe some people that don't want to move on, but not in every case. These people are hurting and they possibly have no support. They need to hear someone talk to them and reead about it, so they have an aha moment. Understanding brings knowledge, and with that, you can heal. If you don't know which way is up and you are emotionally and mentally wounded, you can't heal. So all people are different. For example, I had my aha moment watching a random video and then I buried myself in research. And, research from the point of psychology,.
So, Vulcanel, in some areas we agree, but in some areas, we will have to agree to disagree.
Thanks for your input.
Luella
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You are brilliant also. I don’t have anything al...
Vulcanel
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This is a reply to # 2,416,857You are brilliant also. I don’t have anything all figured out, maybe some bits and pieces are helpful. I try to be contributory. It is a cold and numb place to be, after these traumas, the p ....
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You are brilliant also. I don't have anything all figured out, maybe some bits and pieces are helpful. I try to be contributory. It is a cold and numb place to be, after these traumas, the person is many times, all alone basically. If the answers were easy, it would have been figured out a long time ago. What always helped me, was to get my mind off the topic, focus on something else. But the negative always creeps back in, like when you rest or lay down to sleep. For me, eventually with time, I was able to shift my attention to other things long enough that the negatives just dissipated with the passage of time. They're still there.... but there were so many of them. Anymore, I'm nearly immune to it, if a new stress comes along, I tell it to get in line behind all the other ones.
Unfortunately, alcohol and drugs don't help, one just ends up addicted on top of the other issues. Having a good friend is essential. Just talking and getting it out to a neutral party is beneficial, because the situation is insanity, and we as humans need to rationalize why what happened, happened. If we can put some logic to it, I think that helps, and in that regard having a friend to bounce ideas off of, helped me alot. But, not everybody has somebody to talk to.... - Before cz can ever be a viable website again, it w... Vulcanel 7 y 1,379
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:) Glad you noticed that.
Its a serious matter...
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Re: Living with a Narcissist can result in Anxiety...
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hahaha, good luck on the victim thing. Narcissi...
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What Methods does a Narcissist use to Control You?
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What Methods does a Narcissist use to Control You?
In today's blog, I am going to talk about the methods a narcissist uses to control you.Well, first they have to reel you in.How do they do that? By Love Bombing you -
Expand this whole thread (3 messages)
Living with a Narcissist - What is a Narcissist?
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Living with a Narcissist - What is a Narcissist?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), also diagnosed as Anti-Social Behavior and Anti-Social Personality Disorder, entails a long term pattern of abnormal behavior where the person exhibits exaggerated feelings of self-importance, excessive need for admiration, and lack of empathy for others. Read More.
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as a serial victim of narcissists i have to ask my...
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This is a reply to # 2,416,685
as a serial victim of narcissists i have to ask myself what it is about me that draws them and makes me fall for them and/or put up with it? recognizing a narcissist is easy, but ignoring them li ....
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as a serial victim of narcissists i have to ask myself what it is about me that draws them and makes me fall for them and/or put up with it? recognizing a narcissist is easy, but ignoring them like the piece of wood they see everyone else as is hard. its hard exactly because im not a narcissist. in fact, im the opposite. and maybe thats why they see me as easy prey.
be well, kiddo.-
Oh, Dearest Trapper,
Me too.&...
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This is a reply to # 2,416,694Oh, Dearest Trapper, Me too. And that is why I am starting a blog and a youtube channel on the subject. In fact, I'm going to put up my first video on t ....
Oh, Dearest Trapper,
Me too. And that is why I am starting a blog and a youtube channel on the subject. In fact, I'm going to put up my first video on this forum in a short while. I am doing this on other venues too, I want to get the word out. Actually, I found out that I have been a victim of narcissistic abuse my entire life through a random video that came up. Actually, I kind of went into shock for about two days.
As to your question......... Why have you been always drawn to narcissist? Because you're probably an empath, just like me. And empaths and narcissists are attracted to each other like magnets. The only way to avoid a narcissist is to set boundaries. The minute a boundary is crossed, or you feel like you're focusing on making that other person happy, or being perfect for them, watch out. You are probably being sucked into a narcissistic relationship........... Again.
In spite of knowing all there is to know about narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, if you do not have boundaries set up, you are going to slip into their clutches. And that is because they are so believable......... So smooth, and it's easy to fall into that trap. So, boundaries are the only way.
Lastly, be good to yourself and focus on you, because, my friend, you have gone through mental and emotional trauma. Over and over again.
My best to you Trapper,
Luella
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Oh, Dearest Trapper,
Me too.&...
LuellaMay
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Master Manipulators
Eric B
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Master Manipulators
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Master Manipulators
How to spot women who are master manipulators so you don’t compromise your values, what you want and end up being manipulated, used, abused, taken advantage of and tossed aside after they are done with you.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a recent coaching client. He’s a very successful high-income high net worth entrepreneur with a growing business. He’s highly intelligent, tech-savvy, and possesses just the right touch of geeky/nerdy/brilliant/visionary type character traits that the Mark Zuckerberg’s of the world all possess. However, he’s kind of shy around really beautiful women and has not dated his first super beautiful unicorn yet. One of his female employees has become an unhealthy crush and dating fantasy in addition to being a key employee, close friend and confidant. He was on the verge of moving his business to another city that is closer to where this employee lives because she has become a romantic question mark and blind spot for him. After I helped him to analyze and decipher her true intentions, actions and character traits, he did some digging on her. He shares what he found and it’s eye opening. This has helped him to see reality for what it is and avoid some serious personal and professional blunders and potential setbacks.
“All humans create blind spots that prevent them from seeing people for who they really are once they become emotionally involved and attached. When we care for someone or are romantically attracted to them, we tend to focus only on what we like about them, and rationalize away or outright ignore their glaring flaws and faults. It is simply good policy and essential to your overall emotional health and wellbeing, to put everyone you meet and are considering a deeper personal or professional relationship with on probation, along with a healthy dose of skepticism. The world is full of people who will take advantage of you personally or professionally if you give them the opportunity to do so. Always judge people by what they do, not what they say or how good they look. Their past actions in previous relationships are a good indicator of how they will treat you now and in the future.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
Click the link below to read the article “Master Manipulators” on my website:
https://understandingrelationships.com/master-manipulators/31552-
Red Flags
Eric B
7 y
1,496
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This is a reply to # 2,411,313Red Flags
Red Flags
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oB8an3uuXYU
The importance of looking out for red flags when you start dating someone new so you can eject before falling in love with someone who will drive you crazy and make you miserable.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who is suffering tremendously because he did not listen to my instructions to read my book, “How To Be A 3% Man,” 10-15 times to learn the basic fundamentals of what it teaches. He admits he originally only read my book once and tried cherry picking information and looking for shortcuts to success in my videos. He details how things started out great with his now ex-girlfriend. He started acting dopey and fell for what he now thinks is a woman who has borderline personality disorder (BPD). He shares the red flags that he ignored and what he learned in hopes that other men can learn from him so they won’t make the same mistake that he did.
“Success is a process. Success happens effortlessly when you are able to capitalize upon random opportunities as life presents them, only after you have done the work, put in the time and the repetitions necessary to prepare for success when your opportunity comes. Unsuccessful people tend to dabble and half-ass their way through life without any real clear focus or goal. They are therefore unable to successfully capitalize upon opportunities as life inevitably presents them due to their lack of preparation and practice. You will become better at anything that you practice. If you fail to practice and prepare ahead of time, failure is as predictable as the sun coming up in the east and setting in the west.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
Click the link below to read the article “Red Flags” on my website:
https://understandingrelationships.com/red-flags/31393
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Red Flags
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