Ill do my best to post here as often as I can...as Im gonna start the out patient programm any day from now, I must make an effort to go out every day so it wont b such a shock when the time comes... my goals for the next few days are to call a differant person every day, to sit outside, go for walks everyday, to fill my frig with safe food and have something every few hours...All I can think of now is apples, grapefruits and branflakes...Im scared anything else may get me started.

Last night I went out to get that box of cereal. It was such a serious matter! U should have seen me looking at all those boxes trying to deal with myself...for months now I havent had any food in the house appart from binge stuff that has to disapear in the morning. A few day ago I realised that the freezer is full of food covered with salt or bleach so I dont eat it... when Im on binge mode, I get so paranoied..I dont even have the guts to open the front door to throw any left over away,as if theres gonna be hundreds of people waiting to catch me while Im doing a crime. Thats sick...how can one live like that!

Anyway I bought that box of cereal(and milk) knowing that its gonna stay in the house for a week or so...

that sounds crazy...

when people in the world are facing earth quake, aids and war, my concern is a fucking box of bran flakes

I am sorry to be so self centered, I really want to get out of myself and help the world...but but but...