"what do you all think about one night stands as long as safe sex is involved. what are the morals on that. is it bad. should i avoid. is it irresponsible."


Dear 79767..truly, it's what YOU THINK about one night stands that counts (and of course the person you've elected to have casual sex with!).

Please don't allow the 'mores & morals' of a socialized society (religious or otherwise) determine what YOU need as a human being. We are ALL sexual beings. So much of our programmed behavior is directly attributable to 'those in charge' who set the standards to keep the 'herd in line with the program' & to instill fear and self doubt.

What makes something bad? Mal-intent & prioritizing your needs OVER AND ABOVE that of the other person's needs.

As long as communication lines are open, have at it, imo.

You don't state whether you're male/female. If you're male, know beforehand, that women aren't always successful at delineating between emotions & casual sex. We tie in emotionally to those whom we are intimate.

Carpe Diem!

It would be a surrogate for something that you crave but cannot and don't know how to find.
And taking surrogates always leads to addiction. Soon, you'd forget all about love, and would crave more and more one night stands, until you hit rock bottom and feel like a whore. Then, to ease the pain, other surrogates would come in: perhaps alcohol, or drugs, or at least sweets and TV... and you'd be feeling much worse then now.

That'd be one way of looking at it.

Another way is this: do you think that just phyisical sexual pleasure, with no interest in the other person, would be enough? If so, then why not masturbate? Oh, because there is no other person, right?
Well then, we are coming to sqaure one: you actually don't crave physical sexual stimulation, you crave a meaningful sexual relationship with another human being and not just a one night stand.

Any way you look at it, it's best to resolve the issue at hand: how to find, meet and love another person and be loved in return.

Since I believe that we are all born to learn a thing or two about love, as "love is the answer", that seems to be the best path for you and all of us, and also the healthiest.

Don't expect quick results, and try not to look at relationship as a "success" or "failure". Relationships just happen and they help us get to know ourselves.

As for not being liked by those you like: we are naturally built to like people that like us. There is a lot of unnoticable and unseen communication going on between people when they first meet. Those signs tell our subconscious mind whether we have a chance at all or not (with another person). Why you are using those signs against yourself is the real question. It is not a matter of them not liking you; it is a matter of you liking people who you know won't care for you.

This usually starts with upbringing... start digging there if you want to find gold

To the bad, immoral romantically challenged person,

According to what you say, you are concerned with not being eligible for the "GOOD" award. Do not worry, there is none. Do not worry about being eligible for the "morality" award either, that also is a myth. If you want to be considered moral by someone, most people will charge only $10.00 a day to always call someone "moral" whenever they meet them, but if you want to continue being a decent person, just keep being concerned about doing what your conscience tells you (I hope you figured out that I was being sarcastic just to make a point). "Morality" is artificial, decency is what you should concern yourself with. People who have no "heart" refrain from murdering people because they are making an effort to be "moral", but people who are DECENT simply do not murder (it is not an attractive idea to them and they do not have to "refrain"). If you are a decent person, then you really have no overriding need for what is called "morality". What is considered moral here in the U.S., might not be considered moral in another part of the world (Morality is artificial, local customs, traditions, etc.).

If the idea of simply doing "sex" has not always appealed to you and made you act like a madman (sex fever, etc.), then there's a possibility that you are more profound and crave emotional intimacy instead of simple physical intimacy.


A one night stand is not going to make you happy (you know that), in fact, when you have a good relationship, you'll get more pleasure from holding and kissing (EMOTIONAL intimacy) your partner than physical intimacy. Supposedly, not all women crave sex (Cadbury just did a survey in England, half the women crave chocolate more than sex, the men were'nt much different, maybe you have British blood in you).

How old are you?

Do you love yourself, like yourself?

Are you respectful, laugh, listen?

What do you feel are the obstacles to being attractive to a potential partner?

What type of person are you attracted to?

What do you consider the most important 5 qualities in a potential partner?

Do you posssess similar qualities and values?

Are you looking for qualities based on your imagined or real needs?

Chances are, if you can get a "one night stand" you can get into a realtionship that may work.

Sex itself may be desirable, but a true connection - much more so.

Best thing, work on yourself, educate yourself, mature emotionally, become aware. Once you find peace within, you will be attacted to and attract the right people into your life.

Trust me, if we all asked these questions and knew the answers early in our lives - countless tears and feelings would be saved, and there would be a lot more happier people around.

MadArt (ist)

..if you look for other people to make you feel comfortable with an idea and you need their approval or disapproval you will soon find out that there is as many opinions as people you ask. Whose advice are you going to take? You're simply gonna go crazy and confused. Do whatever seems right for you. If you feel you need a one night stand - go for it. You are not the first and you wont be the last. If you find out afterwards it's not what you wanted- don't do it again and you got that idea out of your head. But as other people have said before...be careful if it is really what you want or else you will end up hurt or hurting someone else. Sex is a delicate subject and should be treated like it. Even in a one night stand there can be mutual respect and a genuinly positive feeling for each other. It is your choice if you turn it into something cheap and nasty or if you are having a good time with someone you respect but are not interested in going the full way (relationship and all).
Also, I would maybe think about more why you seem to be attracted to people whom you know won't be interested (unconsciously). Did you grow up with a vacant father who was hard to approach and absent or absent-minded (that's just out of pure interest)? Do you feel you actually deserve a really good partner? Or do you feel inside you have to perform to make them stay or like you? I'm just speculating..sorry

If you are male it is okey to do one night stand. Especially if you don't have a permanent companion. It is our nature.

Personally I believe u can compare this and with a lot of alcohol consuption for more joy.

If u are a woman it is no no. I can understand it if a girl has recently seperate and is very sad and wants to take revenge.

Otherwise you have to find what is wrong with your feelings and try to socialise. I know that sex is wonderful think but one night stand is not woman's nature - except if she wants extra money than is physical.

So my advice is if you are a woman and go for it try not to pay for anything , otherwise it will be very pathetic.