Hi Kevin.
you may want to post your message to Christianity Debate or support forum.

I am sure you will open up yet another can of worms with this question. However I am a born again Christian so I'll answer your question as one to whom you directed the question. I cannot tell you when you will die, no one can unless you choose to take your own life. I doubt that missing a church service will condemn you to eternal flames. Christianity is not about works, it is first and foremost about faith. If you believe that Jesus Christ is the only begotten Son of God (John 3:16) and you believe He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life and the only means that you can have fellowship with the Father; then you can and will be saved. Your actions should reflect your faith, but never allow man made works to replace that faith. As a Christian, I suspect the Holy Spirit is dealing with your heart and telling you it is time to make a decision. However, I doubt if He is telling you you will die soon. Please reflect on this and do not allow your conflicts with your parents, or the negative things you hear about Christianity hear affect your decision. Go with your heart. You do not have to be in church to be saved. You can receive the Lord Jesus as you sit at your computer.

If you have any questions about salvation, please go to the Biblical Christianity Forum on Curezone.org. There will be believers who will be happy to answer your questions.

Meanwhile, I am worried about your state of depression. I do understand that constant, unrelenting suffering will lead to depression. When you are in pain all the time it is almost impossible to to gain a positive attitude. It takes every bit of will power you can muster just to keep on going. But, you must try. Did you know that one of the worst side effects of antidepressant drugs like Zoloft and Prozac is the tendency to committ suicide after going off the drug? This problem seems to be especially acute with younger people. You are fighting a much larger battle than many, perhaps even yourself realize. How I pray you will release all this anger, fear and pain to the Lord and let Him deal with it in His way and time. But this is between you and God, no one, not I, your parents, believers and non-believers can force you to either accept or reject God; that decision is in your hands. Please take care of both your physical and emotional self. I am praying that your spiritual self will soon find the answers it is seeking.

...Thoughts like this, all thoughts like this, are a function of your age. Youth ALWAYS wonders about 'profound' questions!

Youth has been doing this since time immemorial.

You will wonder about it as though it has great and important meaning, and it does, but only as a comparision to what you will think and feel in the future.

Be moderate with yourself. You will know, with absolute certainty, when it is time to commit to choices.

Look how you have chosen to improve your healthstyle...and your prospects of moving.

These are major changes of mind in your life, in anyone's life.

Changes, even good and worthwhile changes, are stress. (Ask any psychologist.)

Most of all, for balance and comfort, you need to be kind and gentle with Kevin.

Quiet patience is needed.

The right answers will appear when they are needed, you can be sure of that.

That's how ALL of us grow in maturity.

You'll make it.

No need to worry.

My best,

fledgling

in our society, most power is weilded through manipulation. you are being manipulated.

the great forces for manipulation are first, religion, second politics, and third education. all of them use brainwashing techniques. none of them want you to think on your own. like the bible says, as you think in your heart, so it is for you. you must guard your thoughts zealously and check everything out before accepting it as truth. for most people, this means wiping the slate clean and starting all over again. otherwise, how can you know which you have been told is the truth and which is a lie? if you cant verify it, dont believe it. unfortunately, you have heard the lies all your life and they rest at the very core of your thinking. it will take work and commitment to dispell them all.

knowing you are being manipulated is a start. the more people that think a certain thing is true, the more likely it is a lie. a rule of thumb that can be used is mass media. since this is the source of most peoples' "truth", you can pretty much count on everything you see on tv or read in newspapers and magazines is a lie.

how can this be? it is because those in positions of authority are professional liars. they are not well versed in the truth. instead, they go to school for years and become doctors of divinity, or medicine, or political Science so they are well versed in the intricacies of the lie which is their particular craft. they can argue circles around you and speak of things which are over your head to confuse you and make you their subject.

if you are truly interested in your creator, talk to him, not some man. spend some time alone and listen to that still small voice in which he speaks. he has given us all free will, so he will not impose upon you in the manner in which you find your parents and preacher doing, or your doctor, or like your teachers in school did. they all operate from a position of motivating you with fear. god is love, and he will cast away all of your fears. you must earnestly and ardently seek him with pure and honest intention. it is my experience that he will not let you down.

this is a great place to ask your question, kevin. it is a matter of mental health, and if the mind is not healthy, the rest of the body will obediently follow, no matter what else you do to the contrary.

that is the best answer i have for you, son.

You don't have to go to church to hear the "gospel message" - you can read it for yourself in the Bible. The Gospels are the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. You could choose any one of those and read it. Gospel means "good news" and the good news could be summarized by John 3:16. God loves us! Jesus came to earth, fully man and fully God. He lived, worked miracles, died for the sins of all people, was buried, rose again, and ascended into heaven, where he lives. One day he will come back to earth. In the meantime, the Holy Spirit was sent to us, to convict us of sins, and to COMFORT us!

Feel free to open a Bible and start reading, Kevin. You can even find the Bible online and read it that way, if you like. You don't have to wait! God loves you and wants to you to get to know him.