Hi All! As a child I often felt it would be neat to be alive in early America. I couldn't decide however, whether to be a pioneer or an Indian. Later either in High School, or shortly after, I went to visit a friend. Her sister was a self-proclaimed psychic.
As the evening wore on she told me that she'd felt very strong Indian vibrations from me when I first came in. That if she was to put me in any other place or time, it would be in early America as an Indian. I confirmed her feelings. Then she added that she didn't think I was a full blood Indian, but rather a half-breed. This was a revelation to me, but coincided with my inability to choose one race over the other. It also explained my feelings of not belonging, or fitting in. When I was 14,15yrs old I went out with a guy whose mother was chinese and father was german. My mom made some comment about him being a half-breed. I know she made the statement in a derogatory way, but to me it seemed like she spat out the word, like it was dirty or something. It really got me angry. Other than these feelings, I've got no "proof" I ever lived as a half-breed Indian. Still wonder sometimes what the other half consisted of. Maybe I was black! Boy, That would've really set my mom off!
Marj