Looks like your only option is a Jack Daniels Cleanse.Drink Jack Daniels until you dont feel it anymore.

If this is a legitimate post, then read on.
The problem here is not so much that you have thoughts about your ex, rather the real issues are about your selection criteria BEFORE you married the beaufiful ice princess. There are some points that YOU need to consider. Did you know before you married her that she was emotionally unavailable? ( You did know that she was physically off limits).If you were aware, why did you marry her? If you did not know, where were you- on Mars?
Most certainly your ex has severe emotional problems and is NOT a suitable candidate for even a date,let alone a marriage.
You sound like you are married to a fine loving woman,and yet you are longing for the ice maiden? You do need professionaal help to get some insight into this somewhat bizarre dilemma.Please do so before your yearnings start to contaminate your current relationship.

Well, I have read over your post several times and have debated about what to say to you. I have several thoughts going on in my head about this. (My major in college was psychology and I love to try and figure out what's going on in a person's mind--not your mind, but your 1st wife!))

I believe you still love your 1st wife and you probably always will. Part of that love is because she was your lst love and you expected that love to last a lifetime. But, a part of you still loves her because of the rejection you felt from her sexually when you were married to her. Does that make sense? A male likes the chase of the female and you never fully conquered your "chase", so there is still a lot that was left hanging, so to speak.

Of course there is a reason why your 1st wife acts as she does. You will probably never know that answer, though. She sounds like she has a phobia about touching and that has even crossed into the not breathing on her. (which I found bizarre)

You sound like such a wonderful and caring person. I mean, you hung in there for SEVEN years!

How long have you been married to your 2nd wife and how long were you divorced before you remarried? One final question I am wondering and please don't feel like I am just being a nosy female, but were you always faithful to your lst wife? The reason I am asking this question is that might be part of your guilt, too, because you are such a caring and feeling individual. (and NO ONE would ever judge you if you did! Ha)

I just want you to be happy in your life and I think you are dreaming about how things were with your 1st wife and you may long to return to that relationship. Just tell yourself trying to go back is so much harder than not. The reason for this is if the problems that drove you away are not resolved, you are just going back to the same old thing.

I wish for you the best life has to offer! Paulette G.

It will always be tough to be the one to break up the relationship feeling guilty for putting the other person in pain and misery no matter how right of a thing it was to do. It's hard to avoid that. Everyone wants to be the good guy.