Hi....

It is an unfortunate, BUT ALL TOO COMMON, fact that two people can have a wide range in their responses to stimuli and /or just a huge difference in their sex drive.

And I mean even AFTER trying to resolve the problem, by using all manner of herbal, exercise, doctor visits, etc.

My situation is similar to yours, except that it has been twenty lotsa years.

For I am a passionate.........and I don't mean that in a crass or common way, as in "simply sex", but in life itself........music, poetry, motorcycles, flying, laughing, helping others, whatever........a passionate guy.

And often, especially in second marriages, one of the partners may have "been alone" for a few years, so at first meeting, or for a few weeks or even months, the partner without much "drive" will APPEAR to be as "wanting" as the truly passionate, but in short order, or when the wedding or "move in" has taken place, that artificial "effort" to "catch up" wears off quickly and the true degree of "drive" manifests.

There is not an herbal or other preparation that was not purchased ..and used. (And five hundred dollars worth of new things were recently purchased) Medical doctors found "Nothing" (but they seldom do) A year was spent in "deliverance counseling.

Yes, Thyroid also.

And what does THIS do? When the needed "initiation" is so vital to a romantic nature, that one gives up sex entirely, rather than have it by "rote"?

When I know that there are many many wonderfully clean and passionately sexual women in the same situation..

How does one react to that?

It presents a huge moral question, and also a total guilt reaction, when one partner has a nearly non existent “drive”.

(but for a passionate person, "THAT" is a vital element in a marriage or relationship).

So things "fester", as is normal.

But we fail to solve things.........because it's painful.... when there appears to be no solution. It's human nature, more's the pity.

So then, is just "ole sex" so important as to jeopardize such a friendship?

Now there is a question that can have no objective answer.

Each person must meet this demon and make his or her decision as to which side outweighs the other.

I have kept myself in super shape, have never smoked or used booze, even in the war I never "fooled around " with foreign women, but kept myself "nice" for the future wife......

Twenty something, huh?

LOL