Dear Fire,

People can only hurt you with malicious lies
and harsh judgements if you let them. You need
to let that negativity bounce off you. There is only one person whose opinion of you counts at all: and that's you, Fire.

I suggest you sever your friendship with this
hard-drinking, scandal-loving woman. You don't
want or need relentlessly negative people in
your life. It's much, much better to be alone -- and be content in your solitude -- than hang out with lowlife companions.

Your friend is what I call a Sauerkroat. Deep
down, she's miserable about her own life. She
knows she's leading an inauthentic life. And
instead of changing her ways, she chooses,
like so many people all over the world, to
try and make other people feel as bad about
themselves, as she feels about herself. Her
unconscious rationale is that if she makes
YOU feel miserable, her own misery will somehow be lessened. Of course, that never
works, but Sauerkroats almost never learn that.

You sound like a good human being, Fire. You
need to learn to love yourself. Listen to you
Inner Guide, your deep intuition. If you
need to make changes in your life, do so.
That includes work, relationships, lifestyle,
habits, and where you live. If YOU feel like
your life is inauthentic -- not the life you
envisioned as a child, and not what God wants
you to be doing -- then strike out in new
directions. Don't let fear rule your life.

You mentioned your alcoholic and irresponsible
parents. Don't hold any resentments or anger
against them. Those two emotions hurt only
you, not them. Whatever they may have done
to you, it was because of their own wounded
souls; the deep, deep pain they felt, perhaps because
of their own inauthentic lives. If you do
nothing else in the days ahead, say to yourself, "I forgive my parents for the pain
they caused me." As time passes, you'll come
to mean it, and deep-seated emotional
tumors will be flushed out of your body and
mind.

Consider taking up meditation in some
form. Yoga lessons might open doors for you.
If you eat the SAD diet and drink too much
yourself, think about what life might be like
as a non-drinking vegetarian. There are lots
of possibilities. Your intuition will "tingle"
when you think about those changes which would be beneficial for you.

I will keep you in my prayers, Fire. Give us
some feedback when you find your true path.

Blessings,

Owen

Http://owen.curezone.com/

People that do things that hurt you, don’t really know what they’ve done,
because they are living in separateness.

Loving God gives you the opportunity to know your inner self. That will shatter the illusion of separateness.

There is risk, fear & uncertainty in everything that involves learning.

The difference between what’s alive & dead is growth, if it’s plants or us.

Everything we fight, only weakens us & blinds us to the opportunity presented to us.

If you can’t change something in your life that you don’t like, then change your attitude about it.

Needing other people’s approval is like saying “Your opinion of me, is more important than my opinion of me”.

Don’t equate your self-worth with how well you do things in life. You aren’t what you do. If you are what you do, then when you don’t, you aren’t.

Your self-worth cannot be true when given by others. If you depend on others for your value, it’s other-worth.

You can change your thoughts to where you never have negative thoughts. You & only you choose your thoughts.

If you don’t control your thoughts, try & make a list of those who do.

There is no anger, wickedness, sorrow, fear, doubt, worry, suffering, depression, in the world, only those thoughts & behaviors.

Feelings don’t just happen to you. Feelings are physical reactions to the thoughts you’ve had.

“The Now” is a unique place where you can be so involved that you don’t have time for unhappy or unproductive thoughts.

Anyone who gives pain or damage to others, inflicts it upon themselves & must answer to it at some point.

People stop telling you about their hurt or hateful feelings, when they see those feelings don’t affect you & don’t control you AT ALL. They may ask to see how you would handle those feelings & that’s your chance to remove hurt & hate in the world.

People that do things that you don’t like are doing that because that is all they have to give. Being disturbed by it is like being disturbed because fish can't talk.

Any time you are upset or hurt by something some one else did, is when
you’ve given up control of your life to someone else.

A lot of problems come from not being willing to open yourself to everything, for fear of being hurt.

If you think you're upset, you seldom disappoint yourself.

When other people get upset, always remember that they own the upset & that you can refuse to join them.

The people that cause you the most anguish, show you what you want most or are most lacking in yourself.

When you detach yourself from things, they don’t own you anymore.

Life gives it’s self to you expecting nothing in return. You can fight it or enjoy it. If you fight it, you can’t enjoy it.

There is no scarcity of opportunity to live the life you want. Only the scarcity of will to make it happen.

Make a list of the labels you put on yourself & know every one of them is a boundary or limit you put on yourself.

Worrying about something you can’t change won’t solve anything, & worrying about something you can change won’t solve anything, so why worry?

Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It occupies your time, but you don't get anywhere.

Live in the world, but not of the world. Learn to accept or ignore the outside world & realize that true wisdom is invisible to the world.

If you think every solution is outside of yourself, you’re living in an illusion. The fact is every problem you have is first experienced in the mind & the solution is in the same place.

Belief is the way you can make anything happen.

Do you believe it with your mind? Then it can be made physical.

What’s the difference between a person who learns how to swim & someone who can’t? Is it that one has that physical ability & the other don’t? No, it’s one has that belief & acts on it & the other doesn’t.

The whole universe has energy everywhere. If you stay quiet long enough & look within, you can tune in to this & be part of it, which you already are without knowing it.

Don’t try to please anybody, or you’ll become their slave. The only way to inner peace is pleasing God.

When you truly have inner peace, you’ll find it’s almost impossible to be controlled or hurt by anyone.


Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. It’s the same world. Which world do you choose?

Dear FireWalkWithMe, I was thinking the same thing and posted something I felt inspired about over at the Emotional Healing forum a few days ago.

Here's a copy of my post:

"Self Esteem and TRUE self-love is realizing that you are never going to be perfect apart from God's Grace, and that you deserve to take up space on this planet just as anyone else- or else you woudnt have been created.

It is realizing that you are a unique being --and there is noone else that exists that is just like you and who can offer that little bit to this World that noone else can the same way.

You are incomparible and special-- you may be forgotten and neglected, but you're life counts and no other entity or human has a right to tell you otherwise.

When others go out of thier way to insult you- they are trying to "knock you down a few pegs" while building their egos up over yours. They have no right to do this, because every person on this planet deserves to hold their head up high. we are each unique individuals with potential to do our little part to help mankind so it is a waste to feel useless .

Life is a learning experience and a lesson in humility. Learning humility is like turning from a chunk of coal, into a diamond. Many people pride themselves in never having done anything immoral , in always giving , donating, going to church , following the 10 commandments to perfection, etc.

These type of people have not learned their humility lesson yet because the love of their own righteousness has robbed them of their love for others. Those who know they are nothing but dust have learned the lesson of life and are ready to keep growing.



Yes we have faults, made bad choices, sinned greatly , and hurt others greatly. Forgiving others and forgiving ourselves, and then seeking to make retribution by giving back from whence we have unrightfully taken, will help us to hold our heads up high


f you fall, pick yourself back up and get back in the race-- Nothing we have gone through was a waste-- but a learning experience for our soul.

If you are on death row-- Even the little time you have left in life before lethal injection can be put to good use. Send out positive thoughts to those suffering outside of prison. You can do more good for others by your mind and through prayer in one hour than the best of us have bothered to do in a lifetime outside of prison.
Thoughts have power."
____________________________________________________________________________


I have been going through my share of people judging me---- very religious people at my job too-- who pride themselves in perfectly following the 10 Commandments, and look upon scorn at anyone they hear some dirt gossip over. People who have no love in them love to bring everyone they feel threatned by down a few pegs. Actually THEY are the ones who need to be brought down a few pegs, because it is through arrogance that they do this.

I had been in a relationship in the past with a man that had been married. I finally broke it off after realizing inside myself that it was time for me to shed this relationship if I wanted to keep growing. That I was hurting this guys family, my family, and hurting God.

Well- as luck would have it-- the "holier than thou" woman at my job found out about my "affair" from someone who she met who knew about it from the "grapevine" years ago.


Now she won't shut up about it at work and uses it to ridicule me behind my back and indirectly to my face (you know-- laughing about someone only two feet from you and not looking them in the eye when doing it)

Now all I hear is.. "What a FRAUD and a SLUT-- Ohhh, i heard all I need to know-- how DISGUSTING-- and she goes to church yet-" -etc.

I am a Christian but I fell, and God helped me get up and correct my mistake and learn from it. It has humbled me and taught me compassion for others. We all make poor choices but the wise man learns from them and doesnt make the same mistake again.

God has shown me that life is all about growing upwards and learning from our very own human faults.
A fool is one who won't look at their own selfishness, or ego, but will only notice other people's "flaws". This stunts thier own growth because they spend all their time focusing with scorn at other people, that they forgot the meaning of life-- which is loving your fellow man/animal-- and all God's creation.

Don't let anyone make you feel you deserve to hide in a mud puddle for life. Lift your head up high because you are a wonderful creation - an individual with noone else made the same way you are. With special talents and qualities to offer that without you- this World would be a little out of balance with something lacking.
I dont care what choices you made before-- you have learned from them and that's all that counts

I have often noticed that the things we are most brutal and unforgiving with ourselves about, are the VERY things that end up arming the "brutes" in our lives. It is uncanny how just when you feel you have arrived at a point of true inner healing, someone, even a stranger, can manage to find that tiny seam or scar and tear right into it.

This missile-like persistance has begun to clue me into something, though...that maybe these sorts of occurences don't 'just happen' at all. They are attacks, to be sure, and because they often come from such varied people and situations yet STILL persist in circling and aiming at the same bloodied areas...

well.

It is almost as if they are not particularly random at all, isn't it?

I believe there are negative forces that would prefer this healing process is never fully realized within us. Whether you believe this is from within or without is according to your own perceptions of life, but there is definitely a piece of it that ties in directly with what we are still allowing to wound our own perception of ourselves. There is a reflective shard of glass that, if it were not mirroring something we cannot bear to look at within ourselves could not possibly be turned upon us so accurately and effectively to brutally rip us to pieces.

It has only been lately that these sorts of experiences have sort of...turned around upon themselves with me, and become more of a positive rather than a negative kind of experience. What I mean is....it is often these 'unfair' character assassinations that wake me up to the reality of how very harsh I have been with myself over the years...about things I know I was truly and humbly sorry for...forgiven for. And heck, some things that were not even really so terrible at all! Simply a growing process I went through -- ungainly, yes, like a zitty, hormonal teenager...not always so pretty to look at....but many things, most of them....innocent!

even in their blatant, hindsight ugliness.

Things that should have been put away many many years ago and never looked at again -

or if they were to be re-examined, at least with a twist of the mouth that was more affectionately exasperated than hatefully accusing.

So it has become more of a freeing process when I see it mirrored in another and aimed back at me. Sort of like...oh! Thank you. I must still have a part of me that needs to remember how very tender and true I am inside...still. And how very delicately I should be treating myself, with care and affection...acceptance...love.

It is like refocusing your eyes and seeing who you really are. That same tender little kid...wide eyed, hopeful....wanting the best. Still there...in all of us. Still worthy.

Still worthy.