"I struggle with the fact that even though I am conscious of it and I'm trying hard to break free of it that it recurrs, why can't "God" give me a break."

Maybe something from the Tao will help you see. You can do without doing. You can know without knowing. What I see is you admit the problem. There really is no problem, but there is the solution which is where we have to dwell.

You could be experiencing karma from past life. You could be going through challenges that you are meant to go through in this life. There is no escape, for even in death, is the afterlife, and you are accountable for what you do no matter.
There is not enough information about your life, situation, and current state of mind to provide answers or possible solutions your dilema sufficiently. You are a creator, and what you choose to create is your responsibility, and life is not always (often) fair. An easy answer is to take a vacation and get away for reflection, contemplation, prayer, soul searching, and a fresh outlook or other view on you and your immediate "world"/environment. That's not possible for everyone, but maybe it's an idea for you to consider. You are limited only by your own beliefs, choose, and acceptance. You are also prisoner to your own 'reactivity' and choice of perceptions IF you allow to remain chained. It's truly YOUR choice. Wisdom and understanding are priceless, and at least you can credit yourself for seeking it - and it will come if you are patient and vigilant in your search.

Thanks FF and Golfegg for your messages. I am very angry and have not been beneath telling god exactly how I feel. Then I teeter back and forth between anger and feeling guilty for being angry with god. I've never quite felt like this before. Today I had another blow and reacted in a way that I now feel ashamed of. I'm still in a bit of shock. I wonder if life will always be like this now.

The only goal is doing God's will. Do what you know is right. Do loving things to others. Forgive those who "hurt you". No matter what. (That leaves nothing out) You may get hit harder by problems, and probably will. It's kind of like a test.
Think about this. This is the way it has been for me anyway. If you had a son who always seemed to do the wrong thing and you had a talk with him about it, and he said he was going to change his ways, and you said to him if he really did you promise you'll send him through college, or what ever matters most for his success at that time. Would you just take his word that he has changed right then, or would you wait for a while to see if he really has changed before you help him like you promised? I think just about anyone would wait a while, and maybe even throw in a test or two for him to see if he really has changed. I think it's the same with God. Time is the true test. I went through hell before I started seeing God in my life. When I stuck to my guns (doing what is right no matter what) after almost a year of hell, I started seeing things happen in my life I never thought could ever happen. It was truly amazing.
When you get your heart crushed, or your ego smashed, or your finances taken away, or your "only love" leave you, or what ever, keep going. Tell God I'm going to keep doing what is right no matter what. Tell God you are all that matters to me. Tell God this world doesn't matter to me even close to as much as you God. Really mean it when you say it too. Let everything be taken away from you and what appears to be your reputation be destroyed, but keep your eyes on God no matter what, and do Gods will.
Imagine what happened to Job. Imagine Jesus hanging on the cross, and they both kept doing God's will. I bet what's happening to you isn't as bad what happened to them. That's what you have to do though. Show God you've learned the lesson. Show God you will never stop doing God's will EVER again.
I had to go through a painfull divorce that took me for all my money, and took two years do go through. I had to watch my mom die while I tried my best to help her. I had to lose my business, and previous career. I had to build a house without knowing how to, then have a foreclosure sign nailed to the door afterwards. I had to get thrown out on the street basically. I was to the point of TOTALLY giving up and just hanging myself from the beams in the house I had built instead of giving it up. That was when I started cussing God for two weeks. Then I snapped out of it, and said I'm with you God no matter what! It was when I TOTALLY cried out from the depths of my soul, broke down and cried for the rest of the night, and made a permanent bond to God of doing God's will NO MATTER WHAT, is when things finally turned around. Ever since then my life has totally turned around. Things seem to fall in place now without me doing anything except me trying to do God's will. I still get slammed by people everywhere, but I just stick to doing God's will, and it always seems to work out. I can give a lot of examples of where life keeps trying to smash me down, but I could care less. I got my God, and it always works out in the end, and I see how God is there for me EVERY TIME. Just be more determoned than the "problem". You can't fail unless you give up.
See what I'm saying I hope? Even when your life is going down the drain, REJOICE! Like the desciples said, you know you're worthy then. You wouldn't get punished by this world if you were one with this world. These problems you're having are proof you're on the right track. When your life looks "bad". REJOICE! You know something great is about to happen, and all you have to do is God's will, and it will trun around. Something great is about to happen if you keep doing what you know is right. Rejoice always like the Bible says. GOD is behind you if you unite with God's will. God can do anything, and won't break the promise made to you by God. You become God like when you do God's will.
If you're to your breaking point REJOICE! God won't break you all the way! You may think you are totally broken, but you're not. Cry out to God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and tell God I'm with you God. I am your's totally. NOTHING in this world will break me.
You asked "I don't know how to let go of all these problems as must'n I take some kind of action and be vigilant in solving them?" Just do God's will (do what the Bible says is right to do) and you will see God solve them automatically. That's all you have to do. Give the problem to God and don't worry about it at all. Tell God, your will be done. It's this action on your part, that solves the problem. It's not your idea of how to solve the problem that solves it. It's the action of doing God's will that solves it.
You also asked "How do I know when I get the answer?" You'll know. You'll see the problem disappear right before you eyes one day. You'll see opportunity open up for you. It's not going to happen over night usually unless you have that ability to really turn your life around instantly.
You asked if you can get the answer through meditation. Some people do it that way. Some do it other ways. The bottom line is if you become reborn again. A new person who doen't life like you did before. When you align you values, your goal, your heart, your mins and soul to being devine. When you have holy values instead of the values you did before.
I know the feeling of feeling like you're going crazy. Give it up. Nothing you can do will change what's causing the problem for you. You will probably just make it worse. I'm not trying to put you down. I tell myself the same thing all the time. I have no faith in my abilities. I just do God's will and know it will be alright. I step back out of the way and let God take over with any problem. I don't judge if anything is good or bad. How do we know? God's at work here, and God can turn ANYTHING around.
I could keep going on and on, but I hope you understand now. This is what I meant by the Tao saying to do without doing. Don't do anything to saolve the problem directly. Do God's will and the problem will solve itself. And the saying know without knowing, means you don't have to know the solution to the problem. You only have to know to do God's will.
You can do this if a fool like me can. I pray you can do it instantly. Some can. Totally give up trying to solve the problem yourself. This is what some people call "letting go". Let go of this world, and keep your eyes on God. All the problems we have here on Earth are like clouds passing by in front of you as you look at Heaven. You don't really notice the clouds, you only notice you can see Heaven better and sometimes you can't. Be focused, be determined, and don't let go of God, and you won't be let down.

Take Care Bud, (nothing in this world is really worth getting mad, or dissapointed
about. It's worth nothing compaired to what God has in store for
you.)
Gaylen