"I wonder if intact males are more caring, and natural leaders, simply because they didn't have their self-confidence ripped right out of them like the victims of this abuse have had it ripped outta them!"

they are different, intact men.

again, jawd, i am so sorry that happened to you. it shouldn't have. you deserved to be loved, cherished, honored, adored, protected. the medical field is way out of hand in this regard.

and i'd like to suggest a different way of looking at this.
instead of having anything good ripped out of you, i'd rather think of it like this:
all the good is still there. you were thrown in to a vat of terror and sexually abused. it's almost like dipping into a vat of clear plastic coating. you didin't know it was there before and now you can start peeling it off. circumcision created a confusion, a huge fear. it got stuck.

and now it's time to

1) start straightening out the confusion -- and it sounds like you are already putting a lot of the pieces together --

2) and bringing yourself up to date.

how to do that? ...

we got SOOOO scared, that we are still on needles and pins. we are still looking over our shoulders wondering when they're going to come and 'get us' and hurt us again. (btw, did you have recurring nightmares as a child? -- i did, others who were c'd did and i have asked intact guys and they say no -- a woman called today for an appointment and she said she just realized she was sexually abused as a child and she also had recurring nightmares -- hers were about SNAKES.)

so we are needing to bring ourselves up to date. you might try this:

look around you right now. do a reality check. are you safe here and now? if so, hten it's good to just tell yourself, "i'm safe now." if your body is tense, tight, in any way, then it is saying "i'm scared!" -- so consciously focus on those muscles & organs that are tense and breathe into them. this is something i do every night and every morning. i relax everything until my body is humming.

1) recognition is the beginning of the healing. 2) bringing yourself up to date is next. and 3) it's good to restore your foreskin -- naturally -- very empowering. restoring will bring up feelings, to heal. and then you will also have a gift, a nearly natural body that will feel even better than the one you have now and will be even more delightful to you and to any romantic partners you have now or in the future.

big hug, dear brother!
wishing you all the best!
love, patricia

So many boys are circumcised these days (though I hear the number is going down!) that proper cleaning is not taught. My husband showed our son how to clean himself when he was very young and he has never had any problems. Back in the early 80's (?) I heard a Donohue show on circumsion that featured some Jewish Doctors who had formed an organization that I believe was called "No Circ". They had not circumcized their own sons (they celebrated the birth but just snipped the air!) because they had measured the brain wave activity of babies undergoing the torture. You've heard some mothers say, "my baby didn't cry at all!"??? Well, they found that the babies who did not cry were in so deep a state of shock and pain that they could not react! I do not understand how anyone claiming to be compassionate can inflict this cruelty on their child!! I wonder how different the world might be if all babies were treated like the wonderful little miracles they are!