raped as 14 year old virgin feel no... 
#38494
19 y
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dear all i am new to curezone. i am a female in my 40's and i was raped when i was 14 by a young man in our neighborhood that was 19. he would always try to talk to me when i was at my school bus stop or out in the neighborhood. i was flattered and my girlfriends were impressed because he was very nice looking. one day i was walking near his house when he saw me and invited me to listen to a new record he bought. like a fool i went in his house and his family was not home. anyway he raped me. i put up a good fight but i finally gave in and just layed there. for some reason about halfway through it he picked me up and carried me into a bathroom and layed me on a cold linolium floor to finish what he started. i had never had sex before. no one had ever touched me anywhere but a kiss on the lips a couple of times. after it was over i ran home. i put my jeans which had blood on them in the washing machine. i was worried my mother would get home and find out what happened. i knew that she would blame me because she was already beating me up at that point. i never told anyone about this until i was 30 years old. i never have had many feelings about this. i have never shed a tear over it. i dont know why because i can be an emotional person at times. i dont know if i dont care or if i feel it was my fault or what. it just seems to have no significance to me. any thoughts?
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- Re: raped as 14 year old virgin fee... #36234
19 y
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This is a reply to # 378,455hi, so sorry to hear what you went through.
you wrote, "i dont know if i dont care or if i feel it was my fault or what. it just seems to have no significance to me. any thoughts?"
it seems to me that it DOES have significance to you, or you would not be posting about it here. maybe you just needed to vent a little. something like this can be very traumatic - and, there are also people who are capable of handling and processing something like this more easily than someone else. it seems to really depend on the individual person and what else was going on in their life.
sometimes these things resurface years later when the person feels more stable or able to look at them.
have you sought any counseling through a rape crisis center or a professional therapist?
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- Re: raped as 14 year old virgin fee... blondey78
19 y
11,360
MoreThis is a reply to # 378,456When i read you message i felt compelled to respond to you. You see the exact same thing happended to me!!! i was 14 and raped by a friend of a friend who afterwards threatned to kill me if i told anyone he even parolled the streets around where i lived to intimidate me further. At the time i blamed myself thought it had something to do with what i was wearing, maybe i gave out the wrong signals but upon experience i realise this had nothing to do with me. Like yourself for about 13 years i buried the feelings and convinced myself that everything was okay but i now realise without professional help i'll never get over this fully. So i'm currently waiting to see a counselor and hope that there is a little light at the end of the tunnel for me so that i can eventually pursue a relationship that will last.
Take care- Re: raped as 14 year old virgin fee... time2heal
19 y
11,733
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This is a reply to # 378,465My friend was raped and the way she thought about it was that it was her first sexual experience. It wasn't till many years later that she told us that sex with Tony was not mutually embraced, in fact he forced himself on her.
Tony bragged about being the one to bring her to the other side but never asked her to any dances or dates, which we thought strange because he was very good looking as was Jan. We bugged her, to go with Tony on dates and such. No wonder she didn't the jerk was a rapist.
I think young women soemtimes don't know the fine line between rape and consentual sex. It is ok to get attracted to a guy and but when the brakes are put on, everyone gets off the bus. She didn't know how to do that.- Re: raped as 14 year old virgin fee... survivor23
10 y
7,661
This is a reply to # 378,469I understand that this post is very old, but it rings so true to what happened to me too. I was 14 years old when I was raped, and it was a similar experience. The guy stalked me for a long while. It was a consensual DATING relationship, but now I understand that I was too young to even know what I was doing. Having problems in middle school, and being an unsupported sacrificial lamb in the family, my mother actually yelled at me for going through puberty, which later on I would figure out is quite typically when the mom is narcissistic. Anyway, the guy was 10 years OLDER than me. He recently got sent to prison.
But after we broke up, he would stalk me for years, and make my life hell. Finally, I fled and moved acrossed the country when I turned 18.
Now that I have a daughter, I want to protect her with all my heart. There are so many creepy guys out there, pedofiles that ogle her, and even have the nerve to speak to her with me right beside her!
From what I understand, these predators, like mine, picked out a target, and they knew I was a part of an abusive family, (or maybe I wore that on my sleeve). I think the attackers know that even if we were to speak up, it would be an uphill battle, rather than goign to someone who IS supported, and being in fear of even being accused!!
14 seems to be the magic age. Of course, it can happen younger or older, but I am reading that a lot happens to girls in middle school. My best friend was also raped. She was raped at a party when a guy cornered her, and would nt let her leave, and then became violent.
- Re: raped as 14 year old virgin fee... survivor23
10 y
7,661
- Re: raped as 14 year old virgin fee... time2heal
19 y
11,733
- Re: raped as 14 year old virgin fee... blondey78
19 y
11,360
- Re: raped as 14 year old virgin fee... #21217
17 y
11,177
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This is a reply to # 378,455I've been through similar experience, abusive father at the same time, and dealt with it the same way. This is just a theory but I think because you at the same time had extreme difficulties with your mom, you already was at a young age, good at turning off your feelings in a way, too make yourself stronger or "survive". In that aspect you were treating those two traumas the same way and the rape was just an extension of the abuse from your mother. You didn't have confidence to trust her to be on your side so she's also to blame for your reaction. You should try to talk to someone who is an expert on this particular field and see what comes up. Nothing might happen or something might happen with you. Some get other relationship problems later in life due to this.
- Re: raped as 14 year old virgin fee... #36234
19 y
11,621
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