Like TK said, you need to learn more about mercury before you continue.
You made past decisions that messed you up because you were misinformed. Many people are responsible for your misinformed decisions and your suffering - and they do not care about you. If you still think your dentist or the government or the ADA has your best interest at heart you are in for many more painful experiences in life until you learn. Don't make the same mistake again. The exact same thing happened to me.
No offense, but if you live your life worried about offending people like your dentist... when he is supposed to be working for you... and he has already shown himself to be incompetent... change your outlook and demand correct treatment. If they refuse, keep looking for a dentist that will do EXACTLY what you want and not give you a condescending attitude on top of it all.
Fire your dentist that exposed you to mercury, and ask him why dentists have the highest rate of
Depression and suicide of all doctors. Ask him why female dental assistants have high rates of miscarriages and fetal problems. Ask him why other countries have already banned mercury amalgams. Ask him why the percentage of "mercury-free" dentists is growing very quickly. Ask him why
Amalgams are toxic before they are put in your mouth and when they are removed they are considered toxic waste that by law cannot be thrown in a landfill (yet the ADA says
Amalgams are perfectly safe when they are in your mouth?). Ask him why some dentists say that "amalgams should not be removed because of the danger of mercury exposure (yet they are safe to leach mercury over years and decades?). Ask him why a mercury thermometer containing the same mercury as your fillings, when broken in a lab, needs a hazmat team to evacuate the lab and treat it as a toxic cleanup site, partly because of the mercury vapors that are released - the same mercury vapors that are coming off your
Amalgams as you read this post. Inhale through your mouth - you just inhaled mercury vapor that goes straight to your bloodstream and straight to your brain, crossing the blood brain barrier. Swallow - you just swallowed mercury.
Your dentist is a cause of your suffering, so don't give him the respect he does not deserve. Your dentist is working for you, not the other way around. The ADA is there for the dentist, not for you.
There are ways of getting this done correctly as you want. And don't fall for the outrageous other end of this "mercury free dentistry" where they charge you $500 for an initial holistic consultation and thousands more just because they are "mercury free" and have a Sharper Image ionizer air filter in the office. A lot of this mercury-scare is just marketing to take advantage of scared and naive patients. Shady dentists who did place amalgams because they were quick, easy and profitable are now selling fluff and unnecessary "extras" that you likely don't need. A holistic and mercury-free image is great but what do they actually do to you? Some "holistic mercury-free dentists" are incompetent fools who do not follow safe procedures. Some dentists are "mercury-free" just because they no longer install amalgams. Do they actually remove mercury safely? Some dentists won't touch amalgams - they won't install or remove them because of the danger to the dentist and staff.
And don't wait for the ADA or your dentist or your insurance company to change policies you'll be waiting for years. Get the work done asap, but not until you are fully informed and sure of how you want to do it. And consider the more expensive options (I'm talking for real quality work, not the fluff marketing extras). Are you paying for quality work or are you paying for the glossy marketing ads, the Hollywood smile image, the "manibular realignment inspection", the plasma tv over the dental chair, the marble floors, the Sharper Image ionizers, the multiple "consultations", the hidden charges, unnecessary xrays...
For example, consider longer lasting ceramics or high gold over composites. Think long term, think of what composites and ceramics and gold are made of. Some last much longer than others, and each time you drill into the tooth to replace a filling you are closer to needing crowns, root canals, bridges, implants... things that cost MUCH MUCH more than the fillings you are now replacing. Investing more now can save you a lot of money and grief later on in life.
I made the mistake of going "cheap" and I am having some work redone. Doing the job right the first time is not expensive - REDOING the job is expensive!
So, start learning...
Do you know what bisphenol-A is?
Do you know how long composites last?
Do you know what aluminum oxide and zirconium oxide is?
Did you know that these "oxides" are used to make the sandpaper you buy from Home Depot, and that they wear opposite tooth enamel?
Do you know which material most dentists get for their own teeth? (hint - it is not amalgams)
Are all metals bad?
Did you know that amalgams weaken teeth and are the leading cause of cracked teeth?
Do you know what can be done about a cracked tooth?