Okay, those factors definitely change the dynamic. S.S. sounds pretty messed up. He could go into a killing rage and/or commit suicide... some people are really that empty inside, and ANY man that threatens to kill himself over losing a woman needs a serious reality check. Still, it is possible you are not telling the whole truth regarding this matter. Maybe he was really feeling hurt on the inside because he knew you were cheating on him and you wouldn't tell the truth. Maybe he was saying it to be dramatic and it was his way of expressing his love for you combined with his desolation of feeling cheated on.

I want to ask you a question, and I want you to BE HONEST!

I want to ask you WHY he was so possessive? Did you have sex with anyone else before cheating with K.S.? Did you kiss or make out with anyone, or even flirt, have phone sex or oral sex with someone other than S.S. that would have caused him to become so possessive? Did he start slapping you AFTER you had already cheated on him? You need to be completely honest with yourself to figure these things out because, frankly, it is human nature to act like a victim and refuse to see our own part we have played in our dramas. You need to first be truthful with yourself to get anywhere with this.

This guy seems pretty sensitive. I guarantee you he "knew" on some level that you were cheating on him, which is why he called you repeatedly during the act. Ultimately it is up to you to decide if you want to tell him the truth. Just be prepared to deal with the consequences. He might beat the living sh*t out of K.S.... any man would feel this way. But he might actually do it, you don't know.

What is really important is if you believe that the truth can heal. If you really REALLY tell him from the bottom of your heart, and give a sincere apology, and have the strength of character to ACCEPT his outrage, then maybe some healing can take place. You also need the humility to be shouted at without fighting back, because I guarantee you he feels he has been "wronged" hence the word "cheated", regardless of his abusive or possessive behavior. You are not obligated to help him heal and recover from this but it would be humane.

Just realize that damage has already been done, and is continuing to be done since you are still with K.S. It takes usually 2 years for committed couples to work through the wounds of cheating. You guys are not together and that healing will simply not take place. But you can still give him the gift of knowing the full truth, which he undoubtedly already knows on some level. Just be prepared for whatever he chooses to do with this truth. That is his choice and you have no control over that. Just make sure you are not in physical proximity when you tell him because a man's reaction to being cheating on always involves enormous rage and anger.