Abuse at Home 
Hulky52
12 y
3,493
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I am being abused by my family .
The are trying to block my internet access to potential
gambling sites with the use of parenteral controls.
I am a 60 yo father of two daughters who are doing this
and one daughter is getting married later this year and
is threatening to limit my participation in the wedding.
What recourse do I have? My wife also is not supportive and
is backing my daughters.- Re: Abuse at Home #136970
12 y
3,146
MoreThis is a reply to # 1,939,419
On one level or another you are allowing what you're family is doing to you. Families can get pretty vicious at times.
One thing you can do is - if it's your computer you can insert the original operating system and reboot the disk, and assign your account as the administrator account and set all other accounts to Parental Controls. Make sure you back up all of your files before doing this because it will wipe everything out - including their information. If that's too drastic then go buy yourself a new computer (they begin at Costco under $400 and you get a good warranty), make your account the administrator and lock out everyone else. You're going to have family consequences if you do this so the choice is yours and it might cost you a wedding. However, if you wish to stop taking the crap you're currently getting you're the one who is going to have to stand up for yourself.
Families can truly be vicious - that's why I divorced mine.
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- Re: Abuse at Home Hulky52
12 y
2,891
MoreThis is a reply to # 1,939,426Advertisement
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Thank you for your response.
What you say is true but I am holding back on buying
a computer for now...my family is surely vicious as you say...they don't have any heart except for themselves.
I never had a good marriage but now I can see this more
clearly.
Some day society will understand that the problems of addiction are a disease and not defects in character necessarily; that disease come from within or can be brought about by external factors including family.- Re: Abuse at Home #68716
12 y
3,213
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This is a reply to # 1,941,592Hulky52, it is not my intention to come off harsh, here, but you posted under "Abused Husbands." Your original post referenced your family's efforts to control/monitor your internet activities and a remark that you were living in a "bad marriage." Your post, above, made a vague reference to a personal addiction. Without sounding harsh, I don't read anything that relates to domestic abuse. What, specifically, are you considering to be domestic abuse or domestic violence?
Often, when friends and family members have tolerated a loved one's addictive behaviors and all of the baggage that goes with it, they often come off as seeming to be abusive. What I read above doesn't discuss abuse, at all - it's speaking to boundaries and limits that your family members have set forth. Although addictions are referred to as a "disease," they are (IMHO) misnomered and should be pronounced as dis - ease. When we talk about diseases as defined by medicine, they are conditions that can be treated and cured, or managed. When we are talking about an addiction, that management must come from the person with the addiction: no pill, therapy, support group, or promise is going to heal and cure any addiction. Successful management of any addiction comes from self-examination, accountability, and hard work to overcome and manage the triggers, etc...... Any addiction is not (and, cannot be) something that friends and family members should simply accept and ignore because they suffer tremendous collateral damage, as well.
If I have completely misread your posts, my sincere apologies.
- Re: Abuse at Home Hulky52
12 y
3,023
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
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Wormwood, Clove, Clarkia, Turmeric, Epsom Salt, Uva Ursi, Goldenr...
This is a reply to # 1,942,472I speak of abuse because in my family's efforts to help
they are taking away access to me and lambasting me if i
gamble.
If they were not abusive , I don't think they would do
these actions and would try to support me through this
addiction. Setting boundaries are one thing but their
attitude is pure condemnation....- Take a moment.... #68716
12 y
3,100
This is a reply to # 1,943,511Advertisement
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”The formula you guys have developed is so gentle, unique, and effective.”
Hulky52, what are your current methods of managing your addiction(s)? Are you engaged in strong counseling therapy and support groups? Are you attempting to manage this on your own? Has your family suffered because of your addiction(s)? Has there been financial stress because of your gambling? Have you ever lied to hide your addiction(s) and/or the consequences of the addiction(s)? What do you mean that you are "....lambasting (you) if (you) gamble....?" Are they not "allowed" to be fed up and angry?
Support is not always warm and fuzzy, Hulky52. Sometimes, support is saying, "NO, I won't have any more of that," and sticking to it. Sometimes, support is downright harsh. If you were experiencing true domestic abuse, your family would more likely be setting you up - setting you up - to slip and fall in your addiction. They would be ENABLING your addiction so that they could verbally abuse you with a handy-dandy excuse to do so. As for family members and their "trust issues," when strong healing is taking place, an addict understands and accepts how these trust issues developed and they learn how to not take offense at having to earn that priceless trust back. A person's word is their bond - how many times did you make promises that you either couldn't keep or never intended to keep due to your addiction(s)? Take a moment and think about it from outside of the bubble of YOU.
Hulky52, there are MANY, many support groups and strong counseling therapists out there that address addictions of ALL kinds. Perhaps, it might be a "good" decision to engage in some of that for yourself.
My very best wishes to you in your recovery
- Re: Take a moment.... Hulky52
12 y
3,088
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This is a reply to # 1,943,611I have lost minimal money, most of the gambling now is on the internet with chips which I hardly every buy now.
Despite that my family is more than eager to run up the
credit cards or make spot purchases to suite them that cost
considerably more than any gambling i do.
Again i not trying to justify my gambling,, it not good,
it an addiction like you say,,,,,but their attitude to me
is hypocritical at the least ..they are self serving in this
and see my gambling in their way.
In regards to support groups, I attend GA meetings and will
be engaging in other therapy counseling in our community in the near future.
Thank you for your concern with my problem and I hope you see now their part in it.- Re: Take a moment.... jurplesman
12 y
3,157
This is a reply to # 1,943,624Advertisement
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”The formula you guys have developed is so gentle, unique, and effective.”
Hi Hulky52,
If you are an addicted gambler I can understand that your family wants to help you to stop. I don't know your family situation. But addicted people are not the kind of people you can have trustworthy and lasting relationship with.If you want to continue gambling this is entirely up to you, but your family are entitled to protect themselves from any harm you may do to them.
If you have any motivation to overcoming a gambling addition it may be worthwhile know that "gambling addiction" is literally and primarily physiological disease.
If there is motivation then it ca be overcome. If interested please read:
- Re: Take a moment.... jurplesman
12 y
3,157
- Re: Take a moment.... Hulky52
12 y
3,088
- Take a moment.... #68716
12 y
3,100
- Re: Abuse at Home Hulky52
12 y
3,023
- Re: Abuse at Home #68716
12 y
3,213
- Re: Abuse at Home Hulky52
12 y
2,891
- Re: Abuse at Home #136970
12 y
3,146
