Learn to discern attachments in life.

Seek out Buddhism and Attachments.

A start: http://buddhism.about.com/od/basicbuddhistteachings/a/attachment.htm


Delusion is the cause of unhappiness. We, or most, seek happiness in this life.

Unattachment is not separation!

To start, you must understand the Buddhist four noble truths: http://buddhism.about.com/od/thefournobletruths/a/fournobletruths.htm


This is in no way encouraging a religion, but a point of view - a set of tools - to understand suffering, causes of suffering, ending suffering, and freedom from suffering.

Hi Aram,
I am sorry that your relationship is so painful for both of you. Unhealthy love can be consuming. A healthy relationship consists of two people who are whole within themselves and can happily exist alone, choosing to be together. If that is not the case, the relationship will not be healthy. I suspect that you and your partner grew up with role models who did not love in a healthy way. We model how we love as adults with how we watch our parents show love to one another. Simply put, we may learn that love hurts. As in all addictions, a love addict can only recover when they obstain from the object of their addiction/affection. If neither one of you knows how to love the right way you may both be confusing love with parasitic neediness. And when you are both whole, you may find that you have little in common. It is always possible that you could come back together with a healthy relationship, but that is so far in your future that it cannot be your immediate focus if you truly want to heal. The process of healing is hard, long, and painful; it requires that you focus entirely on yourself. I have been where you are and I can promise you hope that if you truly want to heal you can heal. Many addictions cannot be cured; with focus and the right help this one can. It sounds to me like therapy might be an integral part of getting to the root of both of your problems. If you don't get help, you will likely repeat this painful pattern over and over in your life. I recommend mustering up the courage and choosing healing. You will not regret it. Please stay in touch and let me know how you are doing.

Randi G. Fine

Hi

How do you know your love for each other isn't simply more than soulmate love where you are meant to be together. There are lots of healthy relationships where two people are unable to be apart from each other - this doesn't have to be deemed as love addiction. How do you know you aren't destroying something that isn't just meant to be. Unless of course when you are together you destroy each other but you didn't meantion this in your post. So can you define the difference between true love and love addiction.

Thanks