What can you do? You start by going to counseling. A good counselor will be able to help you come to terms with not only what you did to your brother but with what your cousin did to you. Familiarize yourself with the laws in your country---you may find that it is never too late to press charges regarding what your cousin did to you.

Absolutely NOT!

If a child is able, somehow, to correct him or her self...seek and find adult information...or sense better ways to behave...wonderful. But, especially in a world where sexuality is used to sell canned beans, and toys, and automobiles, and insurance...a child is defenseless.

Parents are still trying to straighten the damage done to THEM, and haven't enough information to direct their children well.

All people are vulnerable to the unscrupulous who want either our sexuality, or our attention, for their profit.


Repeat the above to yourself, several times per day...until you understand deeply what is really going on.

Your understanding will grow stronger, daily, over a long period of time.



It is very likely those experiences are disturbing your sleep.

Have no patience with those thoughts and dreams!

Get up immediately!

Go and do something pleasant or beautiful...now...and for as long as it takes to become weary enough to fall asleep quickly.

And, refuse to dream confusing stories and pictures.

Get up and think/do something fine. You'll soon be in charge of yourself and moving toward the happiness we all were born for.


You are in charge of your thoughts and feelings...ONLY you CAN be. It would be great if someone else could take charge, and heal you...but that's impossible.


From where you are right now, the job looks a mountainous task...that's only because you haven't done it before. The first time you tried to tie your shoes was a huge moment, too.



You are going to be wonderfully happy, soon, 123148...and strong because of all you'll learn.

...I promise.


Love,

Fledgling



Music used to be a good way to improve our feelings, but music has been raided by those who want to sell every noise they can think of. Best avoid it unless you have been exposed to the truly harmonic, and know what is lovely.

You could study true adventures, like the story of the Silk Road...the ancient trade routes across the Gobi Desert, from China to the Middle East. Every kind of treasure traveled that way. I have a famous friend who studies the Silk Road for an hour every morning...with her coffee.

Or you could become a photographer...perhaps time-lapse photography. Become good at it and see what some folks will pay. You could make your living at it.

The world is your oyster, my friend. You have just begun to see.

F.

A little late response, but better late than never. Look, we all do stupid things when we're kids. I know you feel bad about the things that you did but you shouldn't feel bad about it just like you shouldn't feel bad about every little mischief you did. We learn as we grow older and what you know today is all that matters, what's in the past is in the past. If you get stuck in old memories they will only give you agony for as long as you keep holding on to them. If you are the person you want to be today then don't worry about yesterday! I have a friend that is constantly haunted by old childhood memories and I can see that they have affected him a great deal. Don't end up reliving the same things, accept them and move on - be a stronger person each day and never look back.

As to your older cousin. He definitely took advantage over you, so you should cut all ties with him and react strongly if he does anything to you that you don't like. You must build up courage to make him feel unwelcome near you. Think about how many other boys he has manipulated the same way, how many lives he has affected. If he thinks it is normal to make a pass at young kids then he's a person you don't want in your life. It may be hard to deal with this, but just tell yourself that the fault was his and not yours. Now you are old enough to deal with this and you must put an end to this because he won't. Best of luck.