my bday is oct 17. and tracey, i wouldnt even know where to begin looking for that stuff, nor do i even know what it means lol. i'm very clueless when it comes to this stuff. i need to take it nice and slow or i'll get so overwhelmed and frustrated i'll end up abandoning it. i do know that i'm very interested in it though and would like to learn.

when i was younger a majority of my friends were capricorns (which to me is the complete opposite of libra-but we got along). they were perfectionists, always knew what they wanted out of life, head strong, and ambitious. now i find that most of my friends are eek! fellow libras lol. they're not all bad off, but we all have our own quirks. one thing i find interesting is that i look at the capricorn friends and for the most part they're pretty much stable and set with their life. they've all graduated college and went on to good careers and beyond, some went on to further degrees. they're all in serious relationships, some are getting married and starting that next chapter of their life, and what's interesting is they mostly act older than their age. they act more like my parents than my peers lol. then i look at the libran friends, and wow what a difference lol. for the most part they've all dropped out of college at least once, some never went, some are still deciding if they want to go, they're bouncing from one job to another, moving from one place to another, some are just dating around without being serious, some are jumping from one bad relationship to another, getting serious with the wrong people, all this while desperately trying to 'find themselves'. and in comparison to capricorns, they're more into having fun and live more for the moment, and tend to act younger than their age.

clary, i think most librans have alot in common, of course there's the ones who are more on the extreme end (like me). if the world were run by librans it would be a very scary place, we would never get anything done lol. in my case i find that i'm my own worst enemy. i'm fueled by my moods, my quirks, and if i examine my life i'll notice i always have an unhappy streak running through-caused by my own frustrations. i can be very happy at times, but those days are few and far between. i'm very unaccepting of the fact that i just cant decide what to do in my life (or something as simple as what to have for dinner lol). i always contradict myself. i always want more options, i hate being limited. but then when i'm presented with more options, i want less because then i can't decide. i chose my college out of a hat, same goes for my major, because i just didnt know what i wanted to do. it seems i want to do it all, and thats why i cant make up my mind. i wanted to study finance, accounting, computers, art, journalism, biology, just about everything they offered. then i would get angry because there were so many majors to choose from, i would actually argue that there should be less so we wouldnt have to be so overwhelmed. i remember i became very stressed because i didnt know what to do with my life, so i dropped out of college altogether because i couldnt decide! i eventually went back and just picked a major out of a hat. luckily i picked one that i really like and enjoy, my only problem is now i'm feeling insecure because i think i'm not good enough to be a success in this corner of the work place. i keep thinking i can't match up to other people's talents who already graced this field before me. basically thats how i relate to every aspect of my life, in the same way. i overwhelm very easily. my capricorn friends always knew what they wanted to do with their life since the day they were born, always knew what they wanted to be when they "grew up" (and to no surprise, they're actually what they wanted to be all along now that they're grown up) which only makes me more frustrated because to me, i still act and feel like a kid, a 23 yr old kid lol. i actually caught myself saying more than once "when i grow up, i'm going to...". it's very frustrating... when it comes to dating guys i'm even more clueless. i'm not good at serious long term relationships because i'm not even serious with myself. its hard to have a relationship with a 23 yr old kid lol. the guys i date tend to get frustrated with me because they feel that i don't know if i want to be with them, and they feel i'm not very serious, and they're right. i do know all of the qualities i'm looking for in another person (hopefully someone very unlike me or the relationship is doomed from the start lol), but for some reason i always have a knack for picking the wrong ones that don't have any of those qualities. however, i think mostly it has to do with my own insecurities and the 'vibes' i send out (at least i've heard this but dont know if it's true).

don't get me wrong, libras are very intelligent, caring, generous, charming, beautiful, sensitive people. i find that most librans can adapt to almost any situation, almost like chameleons. we're just very unsure of ourselves at times.

it's just getting frustrating, and kind of old, i keep having the same problems over and over again lol. it's wierd but the same problems i was griping about years ago, i'm still griping about today. i always say i'm going to do something about it but then i never do. i put the PRO in procrastinator lol. well it's time to cut them loose. thats why i'm trying to 'reorganize' my life and start looking at what i want out of it, because it's getting to be too much. i'm hoping this is a good place to start.