Today is day 23 of my Water Fast as well as my brother's 30th Birthday! My little brother is 30 today!

I was very busy yesterday. I bought groceries for my friend and her family since money was a little tight and I ended up cooking dinner again. I found so much joy doing so and being able to use my cooking skills to make someone happy and have a full belly. I would say here but I made, but then it might tempt my fellow fasters which I do not want to do. I tried some new recipes, and since I couldn't taste them myself, I had to rely on the eaters to tell me how they were. Everyone loved it. It made me happy.

After I was done cooking, I was so tired from excerting so much energy cooking things from scratch. No boxed foods or quick ways to dinner. Just good old fashioned cooked dinner that makes anyone feel good. I sat down for a long time and my friend asked me if I had something to eat. I just mumbled "yes" so she would leave me alone. I was just so tired. I drank some more water to cool off and went home, hoping to talk to Person B. No luck there either.

I have noticed that the simple things that I don't get to do every often, such as cook for others, I really enjoy. Probably because I have so much time on my hands since I am not eating.

My ketones were very high this morning because I felt slightly nausious, but I went to the restroom and then I had some cool water and it helped me. I have been drinking about 20 oz of water a day and sometimes else, because I am not thirsty at all. I always carry water around me with in case I need it.

The silver band etched with the words "Pray hard" was really big on my left hand and I have been playing with it alot lately. Last night when I got home, I went to take it off and it wasn't there. I played with it so much, I took it off and lost it. I hope it is at my friend's house on the kitchen counter or on her desk, where I was sitting for a while. I am just happy it wasn't my diamond. I try not to play with it, or I will lose it too. I have had my diamond since I was 16 years old.

I have noticed how the fat is being whittled away from my body. Now, I just have this stubbon lump on my lower belly. LOL. I got that from terrible eating while in college. The bane of the college life. My pants fit better and my shirts do as well. My top half hasn't shrank at all, which is nice, just the middle section, hips and thighs. I can't say I ever had thunder thighs, but they are looking slimmer then usually, which is always a plus. I have been trying to do some abdominal and back muscle exercises to help strength them as well as tone them. I am planning on going swimming later today to get some exercise as well as just relax and enjoy the water in this hot weather. I need some sun. My poor white legs and body will blind everyone.

I was looking at my face this morning and I was surprised how radiant my skin looked and the kind of twinkle in my eyes. It was just nice to see that my body is shining with health.

When I talk to my mother, she has noticed that my bubbly personality is toned down and I seem much calmer. She thinks that something is wrong or I am not feeling good. It is not like me not to get excited about little things. I just told her that I have a lot on my mind lately. She doesn't know I am fasting. If she did, she probably would fly out of Florida to Ohio to see me. My mother tends to be very protective of me since I am her first born and I was born premature and almost lost me so many times when I was a baby. I know if she could fix my man problem she would. Ahh, I got to love my mother.

I talked to Person A the other day . He told me that he missed me and he said that he wanted to say more, but it would be cruel since we haven't seen each other over a month. He doesn't want to hurt me, but he wanted me to know he missed me very much. I told my good friend about it. She told me bluntly, no matter how it hurts, but he had his chance and he choose to end it not me, so he blew it so I need to just push him aside. It hurt, but I know what she means. He confuses me sometimes. My mother thinks that he will just add to the confusion to my life and mess it up. No one is perfect and people do change.

Person B has been too busy to really talk to me lately after our date. I am kind of disappointed since I thought we would talk abit about the fun we had on Sunday. I am seeing him again on Friday as we go to play putt putt golf. He knows that I am fasting so it might be uncomfortable if he wants to go get something to eat and I am just standing around or sitting around. I don't mind to watch him eat, but it just seems odd that I would be watching and calling attention to myself because I am not eating.

I have been praying to God so furvently lately about telling me the path I need to take. I know it is my choice because I have free will, but I don't want to make a decision that I will regret the rest of my life for doing. Once I make a step, I can't go back. I am so torn that at times, it seems that it will tear me apart inside. God is giving me the strength to stand my ground during this time. I am dreading making a decision beacuse one of the guys is going to get hurt and I don't want that either. I hate hurting people.

I have been praying for Person B's mother. I found out that her cancer is back and I was shocked by it. She is such a sweet woman. I sent her some flowers yesterday to cheer her up. Person B told me that she loved that and was very surprised by my kindness. I told him that I just wanted her to know that I was thinking about her and praying for her.