First thing you do.  STOP.  Now, wherever you are and however you feel, I want you to love and accept yourself for who and what you are at this very moment.  We who suffer or have suffered from panic, anxiety, or OCD tend to label ourselves as "not normal."  We are just as normal as the next person.  We are merely "ill."  Do we classify a person with a heart condition as "not normal?"  Yet, they also feel pretty darned sick.  You are ill right now, and ill people do get well.

Let's address these issues.  And by the way, you sound quite a bit like me many years ago.  Meniere's Disease.  Who diagnosed this?  Are you sure it is not low blood sugar, combined with adrenal fatigue?  It has the same exact symptoms.  Your body hurts so much because of the insurmountable stress that you are carrying.  You need to relax.  Ah, but how?  For those of us in this situation, it is an impossible task.

Your mother said that counting is normal?  Ah!  a clue.  This is hereditary or learned behavior.  Not sure which.  However, in your case, you have gone off the charts.  Not to worry, I was the same way.

From reading between the lines, life has not been easy for you so far.  My guess is that you have had emotional challenges.  And I can see that this teacher meant the world to you, in a sense your anchor.  The sudden loss caused trauma and probably left you with a feeling of not having anybody to rely on, to anchor you, to talk to?  And the emotional tragic blow transferred itself to the body, full force.  It has taken over your entire being.   Wondering what is wrong with your various symptoms and trying to figure them out has made everything snowball out of control.

As a side note, once you are well, chances are you will regain your total hearing.  This is another symptom of the massive anxiety you are feeling.  In a nutshell, your body has shortcircuited,  and your body does include your mind and emotions.  At one point it said, "Enough."  Yet, we in our frenzied state continue to push.... push.... push, making matters so much worse.

My advice for this moment?  If you are tired and feel that you cannot go on, then STOP.  Lie down, rest, relax.  Do something you enjoy, something that makes you happy.

Now, notice that I do not refer to this or any other psychological condition as a "mental" condition.  In fact, it is an "emotional" condition, as it was your emotions that received the first blow.  Somewhere.  Sometimes this condition can be purely physical, due to nutritional deficiencies, but in your case, right now I would say it is both, triggered by the emotional and you either had a nutritional deficiency in the first place, or because of your state and lack of attending to your nutritional needs it has not also become a nutritional deficiency.

I want you to know that a lot of your symptoms are caused by this nutritional deficiency.  They are physical.  For one, you have a magnesium deficiency.

First thing, you must address your diet.  Without proper nutrition, the game is lost.  What are you eating?  Or not eating?  In some cases, anxiety sufferers do not eat and add anorexia to their problems.  Not that body image is a problem, just that the paralyzing anxiety suffocates any desire to eat or to take care of oneself actually.

So, we are going to start with your diet.  I want you to go on a hypoglycemic diet and I am going to include a link.  This is not my website, but I consider it my bible.  Read this and then go on the hypoglycemic diet.  If you google hypoglycemic diet, they may not be totally "pure."  Stay away from sweeteners, processed foods, sugar, bleached flour, fast foods, sodas (these are poison to your system, both regular and diet) and by all means alcohol.  This is also poison to your system.  Many turn to alcohol because they are desperate to relax.  Not only do you risk becoming dependent on alcohol and becoming an alcoholic, but it is the worst thing for your condition and repeated use can cause you to "crash" badly.  Just in case..... Been there, done that.

http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/beating_anxiety.html

Also, have you had you thyroid checked?  I would advise finding a naturopath.  And the naturopath will very well be able to aid your OCD/anxiety healing process.  Their supplement advice will most likely be much better than mine.  I am just letting you know what worked for me.

Supplements:

You need a good multivitamin multimineral base.

CoQ10

Grapeseed Extract

L-Carnatine

Oops!  I forgot what may have been one of the most important supplements.  I take a supplement called Mineral PH that is made by True Essentials.  I personally give this product a huge part of the credit for my healing.

Herbs:

nativeremedies.com has a product called MindSoothe that is a combination of herbs to soothe depression.  I recommend this.  It also has another product, which is sublingual called Triple Complex Nerve Tonic, and I think this one will be beneficial for you.  If it makes you sleepy, fine, go with it and sleep.  Needless to say, only use this product when you have nowhere to go.

Learn the art of meditation and relaxation exercises.  These take practice.

Lastly, you do need to talk to someone to resolve issues.  I would look up a psychologist, and you are very wise not to want to take antidepressants or any type of anxiety medication.  They have many untold side effects and taking these medications comes with a price.  That price is incapacitating your emotions, putting your human side to sleep.  Even though your emotions may seem to be your worst enemy right now, emotions are what we are, what help to guide us throughout life.  We merely need to get them under control and listen to them.  I would even tell you right now to see if you can pinpoint by what you feel what is going on deep inside of you.  Sometimes this can be to horrifically painful, and right now, if it is too painful for you, don't push it.  That will come later.  What I will tell you is that if you feel like crying, let those tears flow.  And I don't care for how long.  Cry hours, all night, cry yourself to sleep.  As many times as you need to.  You will find that will relieve an insurmountable amount of your stress.

I believe I have covered all bases. 

Lastly, I will tell you, don't overthink this condition.  Let it be.  Listen to your body.  Get plenty of rest.  And please realize that you are not "weird" "strange" "crazy" or whatever other label there is.  You are sick.  Healing encompasses care and nurturing.  Do this for yourself.  Right now.  Accept where you are.  Facilitate your healing in your time.  There are no time limits.  We are all unique individuals. 

As a little side note, they say that people with anxiety disorders have a really high IQ. 

Hugs,

Luella