Sad...

Life is hard, all I want is my little home in Tennessee

Date:   8/14/2007 2:33:49 PM   ( 17 y ) ... viewed 2705 times

Fatigue, I think that's what it is that brings on the sadness. I have been so tired and so apathetic these last days. I sometimes go into the bathroom just to grab a quick tear-shedding so I can go on with the rest of the day. I can't really even put my finger on what I'm so sad about. Any number of things I suppose, from past regrets to present aggrivations. Living with two men ISN'T easy. Neither of them get along and when they are getting along they act like 10 year olds, running through the house beating each other with sticks or spraying each other with water... I'd like to wish them into the corn field. nd don't even get me started about the slobby messes they make, especially daddy! Then there's the darkness of our apartment. There's no light and no air flow. Depressing. We sit right next to a fake palm cell tower, that can't be good. Sigh...

I LOATH being poor. I don't want to be rich, mind you, but a protective amount of money would sure be nice. All I want is a small sunny cabin or county house in eastern Tennessee, Wears Valley or nearby. Somewhere where I can sit on my front porch and look out at rolling green hills, let my kitties out to play, just have peace. But as long as I've dreamed of it and as close as I've gotten to having it, it will never happen. Now I'm sick, dying, half the time not caring enough to fight because everything is so crappy. Neither my son nor his father are working, my mother is sacraficing food to pay our horrendous utility bills, they don't feel guilty, they never pay her back. We'll lose our home. I'll die.

If I don't shut up I'll write a novel bemoaning everyone and everything I can think of, so, that's all. I'm going back to the bathroom to cry.

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