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I f**ked up... BIG TIME
damnit-damnit-damnit-damnit-damnit...
Date: 8/14/2006 12:34:11 PM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 3494 times I haven't been able to write until now because I've been so busy arranging documents for my plan to go to Dubai early September. There's so much to do and so little time... Sigh...
Anyway...
Well, the good news is that I finished my 21 day juice fast. Though I didn't lose any more pounds after the 2nd week, at least I lost 13lbs in all. And I was okay with that.
But... Because I didn't plan my meals post-fast... I f***ed up... BIG TIME... I didn't just eat. I devoured whatever I could get my hands on. Though not meat. Mostly carbs. White bread with butter. I stuffed myself sick. And I've been doing that for 5 days now. Damn. I don't like the feeling of hating myself because I can't control... I hate being like this...
I fed my emotions. I know I did. Aside from thinking about stuff I have to do for Dubai, I've been feeling pretty down lately because this guy I used to see finally has a girlfriend. Damn. I shouldn't have let it get to me. Now, I feel bad because of him. And I feel bad because of me.
But, since I'm not one to beat myself up for something I cannot change... I will do something to improve my circumstances...
Tomorrow, I will start on a 7 (hopefully 10!) day water fast. And while on this fast, I will plan oh-so-carefully my meals post fast. A reason why I overate was because I didn't have a clue as to what to eat. I needed a plan, a good solid plan or program that I could follow and not divert from. I just need self-control. I wouldn't need to think on the spot when I'm eating again, which is very susceptible to tempations. So I will plan it and write it in black and white.
Tomorrow I will start over. I can do this. I know I can. Wish me luck.
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