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Why I am weird
We all feel we are different than other people. But some of us feel more different than others. Not in a negative way, simply different. This is why I think I am weird.
Date: 5/15/2006 9:45:34 AM ( 17 y ) ... viewed 2743 times There are things about me that although I don't consider them bad, and I don't think they make me a bad person, would definitely be considered weird by most other people because, at least in my experience, they are shared by few other people and so, not really understood. So I have to keep them for myself. But I want to put them in writing here, just in case other people relate to any of them--it is always good to know that we are not alone and not really that weird!
So, without further ado--the list of things that make me weird:
-I never smoke, drink alcohol, or drink coffee; I have never held a cigarette in my mouth and although I have tasted coffee, wine, beer, and champaigne, I hated the taste of all of them; I never had any trouble resisting peer pressure to start smoking and get drunk at parties, because none of these things taste or feel good to me.
-Related to the previous item--I have never been drunk; I think I want to try it some day, just to see how it feels.
-Ever since I was 8 or 9 I have been consciously thinking about my life and about my thoughts. I remember the first time I did this, at 8 or 9 years old, when I used to try to imagine how I would remember my own thoughts at that age a few years later--so, to put myself in the mind of my future (older) self. I still do that quite often--i.e., I try to remember how and what I used to think about myself and the world around me when I was 14 or 15, and at the same time I like to somehow make sure that my future self will remember how I think now.
-Since I was 12 I've been very interested in self-improvement, spirituality, understanding the human mind and psyche, the meaning of life, and about natural healing/prevention. I have read a lot of books on these subjects.
-I don't particularly enjoy going to bars like many young people my age do. I'd much rather take a walk in nature with a friend or by myself, go to a movie, or read.
-On the same note, I was not as socially active as a teenager as other teens. While other parents had trouble getting their teens to come home at a reasonable hour, my mother used to urge me to go out more instead of staying home and reading.
-My favorite music is Latin--not hip-hop, or house, or pop, like for most people my age.
-I had a crush on Prince William for about three years in high school and used to daydream various stories of how he and I would meet. I still sometimes daydream about him.
-I only use natural (chemical free) skin care products, mostly from Aubrey Organics.
-I change the showerhead when I shower with my own filtering one (in the shared bathrooms in my college) because I know the chlorine in tap water is very bad for me.
-I know more about supplements than most people I meet--i.e., which type of vit. E supplement is best, and why vit. B12 is much better as methylcobalamin than as cyanocobalamin, and that you can tell the quality of a multivitamin simply by looking at what type of vit. B12 it has.
-I am always trying to put myself in others' minds to see how they might perceive me.
-Although I think I understand quite a lot about how people think and feel, I still feel unsure of myself and self-conscious in the presence of certain people. I cannot completely "open up" and say all that I feel, and I dislike public speaking.
-I am afraid of being judged. I know I'm not a bad person, but I am afraid of being judged. Especially because I think I am weird.
There are probably other things that I think make me weird, I will add them to the list if I remember them.
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