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T'was the Night Before Festivus
A Festivus Story
Date: 12/21/2006 6:39:51 PM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 1606 times It was the Night Before Festivus
Don Iarussi-C-2006
T’was the night before Festivus in the Doug the Dealers House
Not A creature was stirring, not even a mouse
The Pot was hung to dry by the chimney with Care
Doug’s friends were partying a bit milder than last year
Policeman john was there still dressed in blue,
And of course, Doug and his crew.
They lit up a joint,
under the house lights were blue
Doug’s wife Betty was up snug in her bed
With the words of the Grateful Dead Dancing in her head
They sat and ate Dominos and passed around the pipe
The festivus evening was going so right
All of sudden on the roof there was some stomping and clatter
Policeman John spilled the dipping sauce as he got up to see
Whotsa matta!
Doug threw open the shutters and there went the Hash
Off the window ledge and landed on the snow covered grass.
Someone’s coming down the Chimney said Doug,
Oh NO! Just like last year.
They’re here for my stash!
Just then down the Chimney a chubby red man just appeared
Doug and the crew were just shaking
Officer John was just scared.
Could the Red suit guy be “the Man”
The Red suited guy carried a big bright bag
Doug continued to shiver and just stared
Policeman John whispered , Hey he came stag.
The red suited man sniffed the stash on the mantle
Is this mistletoe, no, not even oregano
I will try some with pizza and some dipping sauce
I have been working so hard
I am hungry as a horse
He sat at the table, ate a pie or two
Covered it with this oregano substitute
He smiled and stood up and said not a word
Dropped a gift or two, under the tree
He filled his pipe with Doug’s stash
Thought, guess they left this for me!
Took a big sigh
He looked like he wanted to crash
With a twinkle in his eye
He turned to Doug and just smiled
He was off into the night still had to go many, many miles
He twitched his nose and up the chimney he went
With Doug's stash in his pocket pizza at his side
He went off into the night
Happy Festivus to all
See you next year
This will be a great flight
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