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What Chelseas wedding might be like
A Humorous look!
Date: 12/19/2006 4:22:00 PM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 2279 times The little girl shielded from the media. The ugly duckling of the White House.
Is now the new daughter in law of the one and only “Roseanne Rosanna Dana”?
It is perfect that the daughter of a trailer trash Governor from Arkenstone who could not figure out what a proper use of a cigar was would marry the Son of Roseanne Roseanna Dana.
Sadly, the young girl that fashion femmes in NYC called the most unattractive young gal ever to grace the White House (did they miss Jimmy Carter’s offspring?) has found an ugly duckling to marry. Even the NYC fashion femmes were cruel, No, they did not serve Alpo at Chelsea Clintons wedding. It was Science Diet. Another said, Chelsea jumped up and down in excitement when seeing the Hor Douvres. NO it’s not true she was yelping “its Bacon”!
There was no word on who handled the Guest list for the wedding. Sources close to the
Chelsea Clinton said that Hillbilly Jam was the first choice for the band of preference
After Chelsea great uncle Yoakum grew ill from drinking too much moonshine and Roger Clinton thought the wedding was being held in a NYC naked wrestling club on the West Side. The room had already been booked for a NY Life party.
The Event had extra security when word was that each member of the Clinton Family was going to try to leave the affair with bone china. This caused quite an embarrassment for Chelsea when her dad was caught in the kitchen with his pants down,
Chelsea screamed, “Dad what the hell are you doing?” Bill was busily humping the young waitress in the back room wearing a name tag that said “Chyna Miles” Bill replied to Chelsea: What, I was doing what your mother said “bone China from the restaurant”
Chelsea said “dad you have not embarrassed me this much since I told you I wanted Poke Man cards and you brought me a deck of cards from Times Square that said “Poke-her-man.” Hillary and Charles Rangel came running into the room yelling that what people saw was not Bill Humping Chyna. But a great “Right Wing Conspiracy”
The truth is that the Dinner of the night for the affair. In accordance to Akenstone Redneck tradition came directly from the Kitchens of the Colonel. The Hillary bucket was proudly displayed in honor of the mother of the bride and following in the politics of the young Rodham/Clinton women. The tasty Hillary Bucket was, well, put together with the Clinton Gals in mind. The Bucket contained “Two Large Thighs, two small Breasts and of Course Two left wings. It was washed down with Grannies own
“White Water moonshine”
There was a little disturbance at the wedding and confusion broke out when
Janet Reno and Ted Kennedy (Ted Kennedy who was bartending the event) got into a scuffle and accidentally knocked out the groom. Apparently Ms. Reno and Ted Kennedy were fighting over who got to put the garter onto Chelsea Clinton Dana’s leg.
Teddy was having such a great time. Word is that John Kerry and Teresa Heinz took time out from the “I wanna be French so I don’t shower tour to attend the event”. The Kerry family was lost for two hours and arrived late after making too many left turns. John said, “I don’t know what happen. I had the directions seared in my brain”. Teresa Heinz is scheduled to check into a hospital in NYC to have hair braids removed from her underarms. The Kerry’s graciously offered the Car Keys to their Bentley to Senator Kennedy. Hillary needed a ride back to her Hotel Room. Kerry said, Teddy, don’t get caught up in that city traffic “Take the Bridge”.
Chelsea’s Mother in law Marjorie Margolis, the former Congresswoman from Pennsylvania and is better known for her days working at WABC TV eyewitness news in NYC. Where she worked with such notables as Jerry Rivers, Jerry Rivera? No wait, Geraldo Rivera is what he decided to call himself. Marjorie Margolis was screwing up news stories and this got the attention of Saturday Night Live who created the character
“Roseanne Rosanna Dana”.
Bill yanked up his pants and gave Chyna a Cigar and moved on to the party. He immediately greeted Geraldo and with a smile said. Hey Geraldo, here you are with Rosanna again. Err I mean Marjorie. Hey Geraldo what was it like bonking the Prime Ministers wife? Man Geraldo, any guy named Pierre deserves to have his wife Bonked.
(During Geraldo’s days at ABC News. He interviewed Pierre Trudeau and banged Trudeau’s wife”) I’da had her said Bill. “But she was getting kinda haggy when I met her.
“Ya know whispered Bill, sorta like my cabinet when I was president” “Man those women did not look good in an all bright room” “I sure did pick the Ugly” Said Bill. “But between you and me” Those were Hillary’s gals” “Me and Jesse were out doing the,
Heh heh, well you know what I mean Geraldo” (Bill elbows Geraldo and laughs)
The non-union staff of the Nancy Pelosi country club catered the affair.
Pelosi proudly showed off her underpaid staff and word was that she made hourly rounds to clean out the tip jars. Bill said “Nancy I admire a broad like you. Your rich, you wanna get in mah pants, you run a non union country Club that underpays its staff and you still win an award from a trade union”. “Nancy you’re a lot like me”…How's that said Nancy Pelosi, Clinton Laughed and said “Nancy what ah do to mah women. You do to all your employees” heh heh
Attention was centered on a number of Children who screamed in fear. It’s a monster, it’s a monster, and kids were fleeing the affair. “Kids, Kids it’s not Frankenstein, It’s not a monster, it’s just Senator Kerry and his wife aunt Teresa”
Jimmy Carter did not make the event, much to the disappointment of many. MR
Carter had a full schedule. The former Georgia Governor and President recently has considered running for the PLO leadership position. Hamas and Hizzbollah are also wooing this free agent politician. Mr. Carter is currently at a state dinner in his honor that is being held by the leadership of Syria. IN Carters honor John Murtha and Dick Durbin did their Musical rendition of “How does the light shine in the home of Hizzbollah”. Murtah and Durbin are in line for leadership positions if President Carter takes the Hamas position. A republican in attendance requested the music of Mississippi Queen played to the lyrics of “Chappaquiddick Ted”. One said Ted was so out of it that he said “here here” Chelsea asked: “Daddy is that a mixed Drink”
The Drink glasses were a bit of a disappointment and were quite fragile. During a toast to Chelsea Clinton and Boy Dana. John Murtha and John Kerry suffered minor cuts when their glasses shattered during the toast. They asked Nancy Pelosi if they would be eligible for Purple Hearts. MS. Pelosi said “Wait a few weeks and I’ll do the paperwork”
So goes a night of festivity with the Clintons.
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