A Festivus Story

Date:   12/21/2006 6:39:51 PM ( 18 y ago)

It was the Night Before Festivus
Don Iarussi-C-2006



T’was the night before Festivus in the Doug the Dealers House

Not A creature was stirring, not even a mouse

The Pot was hung to dry by the chimney with Care

Doug’s friends were partying a bit milder than last year

Policeman john was there still dressed in blue,

And of course, Doug and his crew.

They lit up a joint,

under the house lights were blue

Doug’s wife Betty was up snug in her bed

With the words of the Grateful Dead Dancing in her head

They sat and ate Dominos and passed around the pipe

The festivus evening was going so right


All of sudden on the roof there was some stomping and clatter

Policeman John spilled the dipping sauce as he got up to see

Whotsa matta!

Doug threw open the shutters and there went the Hash

Off the window ledge and landed on the snow covered grass.

Someone’s coming down the Chimney said Doug,

Oh NO! Just like last year.

They’re here for my stash!

Just then down the Chimney a chubby red man just appeared

Doug and the crew were just shaking

Officer John was just scared.

Could the Red suit guy be “the Man”

The Red suited guy carried a big bright bag

Doug continued to shiver and just stared

Policeman John whispered , Hey he came stag.



The red suited man sniffed the stash on the mantle

Is this mistletoe, no, not even oregano

I will try some with pizza and some dipping sauce

I have been working so hard

I am hungry as a horse

He sat at the table, ate a pie or two

Covered it with this oregano substitute

He smiled and stood up and said not a word

Dropped a gift or two, under the tree

He filled his pipe with Doug’s stash

Thought, guess they left this for me!

Took a big sigh

He looked like he wanted to crash





With a twinkle in his eye

He turned to Doug and just smiled

He was off into the night still had to go many, many miles

He twitched his nose and up the chimney he went

With Doug's stash in his pocket pizza at his side

He went off into the night

Happy Festivus to all

See you next year

This will be a great flight









 

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