Day 2 of fasting by noni-man Blog entry

Blog: I deserve to live!!!!
by noni-man

Day 2 of fasting

a wonderful example of a friend, who fasted and prayed for 7 days.

Date: 11/9/2005 1:21:37 AM ( 19 y ) ... viewed 2702 times

I am totally empty. I feel overpowered by the circumstances of my life. Yet I know that suicide is not a solution. But still even though that knowledge I feel like going the chicken way out, as most of my life.
I am fasting even without water today and yesterday. I really want to get healed this time. I like the example of a friend, that he gave me. Listen to his words:

"I heard a man, who wishes to remain anonymous, tell of a personal
experience which sheds some light upon the atonement. His experience could be
called a vision, or a dream. His experience could be called a vision, or a dream. He
does not claim that what he saw was exactly what happened to the Lord Jesus
Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane. What he saw, however, does teach an
important concept. It teaches that the atonement is a process whereby one can
release the burdens associated with ones past. Those burdens consist of the
Dankness that came as a result of the negative experiences of life. Once that
Darkness is released and given to the Savior, the Savior will replace the Darkness
with Light, and one is then ready to go forward.
I will tell that experience in his words.
“There was a time in my life when I felt that my spiritual growth had
plateaued out. I decided to go to the Lord in prayer, for he is the source of all
truth. I fasted and prayed for seven days. I had been taught that fasting releases
toxins that are stored within my body and that those toxins needed to be flushed
out. As the body is thus cleansed it is more open to the influence of the spirit.
For that reason, after the third day I did drink water but there was no food
consumed.”
“On the seventh day of my fast, after having prayed most of the morning,
I laid upon my bed. At that time I was wide awake. I meditated and thought
about many things. As I did so, a very famous picture of the Savior Jesus Christ
praying in the garden of Gethsemane came into my mind.”
“As I looked at that picture with my minds eye, I said a very short silent
prayer. I asked, ‘Heavenly Father, how did he do what he did? What really
happened there?’”
“As soon as I asked the question, the picture came to life. It seemed as if I
were no longer lying on my bed. Instead, I was standing behind a tree in the
moonlight watching the Lord pray. As I looked around, I saw three men whom I
instinctively knew were Peter, James, and John. They were off to my right
asleep.”
“When the Lord got to the point in his prayer where he said, ‘Father, thy
will be done.’ it seemed as if a curtain was removed from my eyes and I could see
a great distance in all directions. All I could see in every direction was a sea of
humanity. There were billions of people dressed every way one could imagine.”
“There seemed to be a spirt with me explaining what I was seeing. I was
told that I could see the people, but Christ not only saw the people, he saw every
detail of their lives. It was made known to me that Christ had entered another
dimension of existence. In that dimension of existence he could see all things past,
present, and future. That is why the scripture says, ‘all things are present unto
God.’ Meaning that he sees all things including the past, present, and future, in
the present tense. For that reason I deliberately use the present tense when I say,
in other words, Christ two thousand years ago is seeing each one of us today.”
“As he looked at us and became aware of every detail of our lives; he said,
‘Give me your burdens. I will suffer for you and you will not have to suffer any
longer.’ It seemed as if that message was not spoken but rather it came in a way
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that I would call thought transfer. It was his spirit communicating to the spirit of
each one of us.”
“As he asked for our burdens I marveled. It seemed strange that he asked
for our burdens instead of our sins.
The spirit that was with me said, ‘Sin is only part of ones burdens. There
are also burdens that come from negative experiences of life such as rejection,
abuse, fear, and the loss of loved ones.’”
“As he asked for those burdens, I became aware that within each one of
the billions of people, that I could see, there was a dark cloud of negative energy.
That dark cloud was the Darkness of Satan that comes from negative experiences,
and is the residue left by those experiences. That Darkness was the burden to
which Christ was referring.”
“I saw that Darkness begin to leave these people and go to Christ. As it
gathered around him, it inflicted pain and suffering beyond anyone’s ability to
describe. He fell on his face and struggled for breath. As the pain continued little
droplets of blood began to form upon his skin as he bled from every pore.”
“In spite of his suffering, he continued to plead, ‘Give it all. Don’t hold
anything back. I will suffer for you and you will no longer need to suffer.’”
“I suddenly became aware of a light within him and around him. That light
was the energy of love. As he suffered for us, his love for us increased. That light
got brighter and brighter until he seemed to glow brighter than the noon day sun.
That light destroyed and dispelled all the Darkness. The suffering was over.”
“He stood upon his feet, smiling. He turned to me, calling me by name and
said, ‘I did it for you because I love you.’ Then with a smile he said, ‘Now come
on, you are holding some back. Give it all.’ At that moment I suddenly had a
flashback. I remembered some abuse I had received as a small child. For many
years I had buried that memory, having no conscious memory. As I remembered
that abuse I simply let go of it. I saw more Darkness leave me, going into the
Light around him. There was no more suffering. It just went into the Light and
disappeared. As this happened there was a tremendous feeling of release and a
sensation of Light and warmth that came in to replace that Darkness.”
“I asked, ‘Why me, why was I privileged to see this?’ He answered by
saying, ‘You are involved in the healing of my children and you need to
understand the process.’”
“Immediately I found myself back upon my bed, wide awake with my
pillow soaked with tears.”
As I said before, the experience of this man may or may not be actually
what happened in the garden of Gethsemane. That is not important. What is
important is the concept. To heal from our issues of the past, we do not need to
go into long periods of therapy wherein we wallow in our problems until we feel
comfortable. We can heal very quickly by giving our burdens to the Savior and
allow him to take that Darkness and replace it with Light."

I really want to leave every pain of my life behind. I pray for the strength to fast and to be able to come back out of it in strength in order to serve my family again.
Love Markus