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Dream Last Night
If love was red, then she was Colorblind
Date: 2/8/2006 10:22:57 AM ( 19 y ) ... viewed 2521 times I heard a voice that continually repeated,
"What is best? What is best for you?"
Messages from a conversation with a wise soul flashed ahead of me. I heard murmuring, lessons being instructed in hushed tones, with the overlapping,
"What is best for you?? For everyone?"
All the while, my boyfriend looked behind him, concerned. Worried.. about a result, the ending decision, or something unknown that would catch up to him. He was running without any place to go, there was no change of scenery, but he ran as though fear would be his fleeting chance of escape.
And I tossed and turned, and for some reason I thought about seaweed, and the voice persisted, and the messages repeated and became more pressing, and he ran and ran and gasped as he choked on that growing darkness...
_______________________________
"Darling?"
'Mmn..'
"Do you love me?"
'.... *sigh* Yes..'
"Do you really want to be with me?"
'....'
We bantered about it.. I can't even remember the last sentence that was said. It's okay, I understand.. shh, no no, you don't need to explain. It hurts, sometimes.. Mmn? Yeah, because, I know you're right.
He pretty much stated I was a failure.. no, it's okay! I've failed in my eyes, too.
My dad.. he said I was selfish, that I use people. My mom said no one would want to be with me.
What? What do you mean, 'Do you really believe that?'
Of course I do - you, of all people should know.. I can't live with myself.
Hmn? Oh, I don't know. I don't know what I choose to do anymore.. just keep going, I guess. Life is beautiful, we've shared many a moment discussing that. It's just the pain that comes with it. The thing is, it's all just an illusion..
No, it's odd - it's like his identity just disappeared. Yeah, perhaps you're right.. I think he's just moving on, thinking things through in life... That's where you've got it wrong, I truly do love him.
Hey, can I call you back later? I have to let the puppy in. Yeah, he's a sweetheart, but he seems lonely, too.. yeah, I know. Okay, I love you. Tell everyone hello for me!
Goodbye *click*
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