Ready for Change? by ren Blog entry

Blog: Heal Thyself/Sacred Woman
by ren

Ready for Change?

thoughts about body image

Date: 12/6/2005 7:06:34 AM ( 19 y ) ... viewed 2869 times

I had an amazing thought about weight loss and purification this morning. How many people, especially women, are not ready for the change in appearance that happens when you fast,purify and lose weight? I looked at myself in the morning this morning and I look very different than I did when I was fifteen pounds heavier. It's not the same ME. I definately don't look the same as I did when I was 190 pounds. How many of us have our self esteems and appearance intimately intertwined? I watched one episode of some show that had women lock themselves up for four months. It's obvious none of those people thought through what it would be like NOT see yourself as you're getting extremely made over.

Personally, I've used my appearance to keep people away from me. I let myself get fat, let my acne get extremely out of control and let my facial hair grow. I made myself extremely unappealing to others all the while desiring a real friend in my life. I hated the attention I got whenever I looked pretty or lost weight. I also lost weight for other people and not myself. I lost weight to get into the Air Force, I lost weight to attract a man and when he didn't like me, I gained it back. If you make your weight an emotional issue, then expect emotional rollercosters.

I was reading some overeaters anonymous literature yesterday and thinking about my relationship with food and body image. Most women get a perverse sense of body image thanks to advertising. I used to blame men but not anymore really. Men are visually stimulated and there's nothing in the world that fat women who aren't blonde can do about it. Attractive women with blonde hair also should not bear the brunt of our insecurities because it so happens that the ad industry objectifies them. Just be thankful that you've not been turned into a sex object and can be left alone while shopping at the mall.

I find that as I become more healthy, more fit and secure in my own body image, I'm not as inclined towards bitter jealousy that we women are known for. I know that I can't change what God gave me. I hate plastic surgery and pain. I must repeat that to myself OFTEN because I think a lot of women go through life wishing they were born in to a different body type,etc. Here's where the wonderful serenity prayer comes in handy:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

I have more to say about these things. I'm on my way to work and will see what the day reveals!