observations
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Date: 11/12/2005 10:56:56 PM ( 19 y ) ... viewed 3138 times as well as things are going in my life at the moment, i'm having a weird litany of minor health problems. we're talking truly minor (well, aside for the anxiety, but anxiety and depression are more constants than new problems), but the list is a little disturbing, taken all at once. recently, i became somewhat convinced that i might have very early stage MS, just based on the sum of them. (my aunt has MS, so my risk factors are higher for it)
i have been:
a) having weird problems with my jaw for about four months now. i've never had problems with it before, and the problems are rarely the same each time, but i get intermittent pain, popping, clicking, and locking.
b) notably more clumsy than usual...and despite a long history in dance, i've always been something of a klutz outside the studio.
c) having blurry eyesight at night when looking at things such as lighted signs. not every night, but many.
d) having increasing trouble (in isolated instances) focusing, remembering the right words, and forming complex sentences. i work with words for a living, so this is extremely unusual and problematic.
e) having my knees buckling slightly occasionally.
f) getting these bumps on the sides of my hands. they are tiny transparent bumps, and they itch, but not horribly so. if i mess around with them enough, they will pop, and they are filled with clear liquid (i assume pus). they stop itching once they pop, but often new ones will come up in the surrounding area that itch. they are very small, and they definitely are not pimples. they are the same color as my skin. it seems very likely to me that these are the results of a food allergy or some sort of toxic overload. i've been getting them on and off for about five years now, and they are always in the same places. on the pinky edge of my hands, on the thumb edge of my hands, on the side of my pointer finger, and (relatively rarely) on the side of my ankles. i've never heard of other people with them, but i'm sure i'm not the only one.
i know these problems are all minor (except for d), but most of them (not sure about f) are all related to problems common to MS. i know i'm probably working myself up over nothing, but i am a little uneasy about it.
m. had a rather ingenious solution though. i was mentioning these issues to him, and also mentioning that all of them could also simply be the result of poor health care, stress, and lack of sleep. he agreed, and said: well, you should be careful to take care of yourself, then. first eliminate those possible causes--eat right, exercise, sleep conscientiously, and lower your workload, and then you can re-evaluate. that might take care of it, so there's no need to get all anxious now. and if that doesn't take care of it, then you will at least be healthier, and you will be in a better place to deal with the possible problem. he is, of course, exactly right. gosh, i just love him so much. he handles all of my idiosyncratic obsessions and thoughts (hypochondria included) so well, in a way that is rational, caring, and totally non-condescending. best of all, it is actually helpful! and i think from an even more wider standpoint, he derives a really deep satisfaction from being helpful. so we are a good fit.
but i did already take one step that i whined about a lot, but that was very positive. i've had a lot of gynecological problems in the past years (ever since getting an IUD), and one of the side effects is that i've become extremely sensitive to tampons. i need to use tampons, though, as pads are little better than useless for me. other options are not practical for me, for a variety of reasons that i won't go into here. but i had been reading about the damage bleached cotton can do, and, even worse, about the rayon that commercial tampons contain, and that is immediately absorbed by the body and pulled into the bloodstream. i had noticed that, upon inserting tampons recently, i felt immediately uncomfortable, and i began to suspect that it was a real problem. and so, as cheap as i am, i bought absurdly expensive organic unbleached cotton tampons at the health store. i bitched and bitched about the price while i was at the store, but the first time i used one, i noticed an Immediate difference---no discomfort whatsoever! it was rather amazing, actually. so i'm a convert to those expensive disposable goods.
now i'm working on changing my diet. our fridge is full of delicious produce, so i'm looking forward to having some hearty home-cooked meals. and we bought a ton of organic apple juice, so perhaps i can finally complete my colon cleanse.
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