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Sleeping A Lot
to do today.
Date: 8/26/2007 10:45:15 AM ( 17 y ) ... viewed 1590 times 8:27 AM
August 26,07
Among the Living People today.
Lots of Pleasant Details to Prep.
Enormous amount of sleeping during the day
on Friday. Recovering from LA since last Sunday.
Morbid experience in part.
Embarrassing.
Lots of Father Son issues.
He is not ready to give up Control
at 89, even through growing feeble.
He wasn't ready to give up Control
when I was a teen. He could have
made it possible for me to get a driver's License
instead of suffer through those uncomfortable teen years
when having use of a car equaled Rites of Passage.
He never shared with me the things that a father
can teach a son.
I never got a healthy sense of how to earn money.
I see numbers of patterns passed from generation
to generation.
He works ten x to receive one.
He had enormous Self Worth issues.
He has a pattern of being abused/
taken advantage of by men,
authority figures.
He Values a Woman in his life above
all. He is a wimpering little boy without her.
He hoards. He saved everything other than the
used Toilet Paper.
This was an excavation,
an archeological dig.
He saved everything. Everything.
There were papers that went back to
to almost every decade of his life
but I did not find any photos of him
as a child. I found one of his sister Rita.
Rita sent lots of photos.
I left those in a suitcase in the Closet.
He saved the Dust.
There were 15 years worth.
He has the Perfect Mate.
They are both the same age.
They are both hoarders.
I wore an extreme mask with two filters.
I had bought it for our own Clean UP.
If I can summon the strength, I will return
there a few days before Yom Kippur.
I would buy two more of those filters,
one for Eva, and one for sister Vivian, her mother.
[How about one for your dad?
Would he wear one?
Would he do anything to protect himself,
to care for himself preventatively.
Don't be harsh, Leslie!
He knows not what he does. ]
He was not living in this world
in many respects.
He was living somewhere else.
Much more to say...
but Eva in his town to visit.
I need to plan this day.
I am feeling somewhat better.
To Do/Done:
Cleared my Desk some...
Feels good when it is cleared.
2. Uploading photos from the Apartment.
3. Call Stephen...arrange for my late arrival.
Get maps for Eva to go to Orfila
and Jensen's Old Spa.
We will take separate Cars....
They can go up there
4. 8:40 AM now....
Nightmare...lost negatives that I needed for Joe.
Living Nightmare...had to call in Archangels and hold my heart
to know I am O.K. She did not want to tell me her dreams that
kept her awake Friday night, but said she was tired.
Fine. She has a Private Life.
She was concerned about me.
She did feel positive about my visit with her
on the way home.
Most Important:
Find Comfort in my Own Skin.
Find comfort in Releasing.
Create Health with Father
by NOT following in his Footprints
and Knowing I am healing generations
through applying Soul to this Chaos of Inherited
Disease.
This is my Job.
Plant a Seed.
Grow a Whole New World.
We can grieve it.
We can mourn it.
The main thing is Created our World
as the Unbroken Wholeness in Flowing Movement.
This is the Enchanted Garden.
We can step into the beauty
through doing Less, Deeper
and discovering Simple Values.
Gift from God:
I have extra days between now and
the Whole Being Weekend.
To DO:
House
Nail down rental of Doug Space.
___
Receipts for Eva...Today...
Flyers for Johnny and JoanE
for Joe
Stephen...Call Now...
O.K.
http://www.hiddenvalleyspa.com/
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