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Seeking Sanity
Finish the Sales Tax Report Leslie.
Honor your need for alone time.
Looking at what I need to do to
regain balance now.
Date: 7/25/2007 10:29:30 AM ( 17 y ) ... viewed 938 times 8:01 AM
July 25, 07
Made some progress yesterday
on the Money Numbers.
Went through an extremely tedious
list of Paypal sales one by one
and uploaded them in my Quicken Program
on my Baby Mac g4 550 that thank God is
working as well as it is.
It cost me near $200.00 unexpectedly less
than a month ago just to get the Directory fixed
and a backup.
There is an inherent problem in the design of the
hinge on this model of the Mac that is NOT replaceable.
The right hinge is broken and their is a thin wire in there.
If I move the position of the screen, I will be getting
a dark screen or some other kind of Abnormality.
I am looking at my own Abnormality right now.
What do I do to keep Normal?
What is Normal for me????
What is my Norm?
What is the Drummer that I listen to?
What is the Drummer I am intended to hear?
I have definitely been over the edge.
My Spiritual Practice every other Friday morning
for the last month has been spending the morning
filling extra black cans up and down the street
with excess River Cane.
Our property is overloaded with River cane,
that I understood is valued in some parts of the country.
Right here it is an invasive plant
with heavy thick roots that spread and spread and spread.
My head needs to find balance in other things beside
the River Cane.
I need to be getting more satisfaction in my life now
that emptying out barrels of excess River Cane.
Judith Larkin Reno, my Coach, was telling me to adopt
Ruthless Radiance in regard to toss out the masses of clutter
that have likewise become clutter in my room.
I do not live an integrated life that completes
at each end of the turn.
I start new projects before I finish old ones.
Then I wonder why I did not collect a Harvest of Reward,
accomplishment, and funding for the next Project.
I am looking at my insanity that is fulling expressing
these days.
Yesterday, I wanted to get the hell out of here.
I have made a hell here in part.
I am not a person who can live with a large group
all the time.
What is my norm demands lots of quiet time and alone time
and non invasive time from outside voices so I can hear myself think.
What goes on in my head can be healthy and healing
if I slow down enuf to hear it at certain times of the day.
Order and Clear space definitely help me with my sanity.
I had an enormously Active Spring following a Winter where
I had diarrhea more days than not.
Spring and weeks up till Summer were so full and full of growth
that I did not even remember Winter and his poor days of health.
Summer bowel health would be severe right now if it were winter.
My digestion is way off, likely from too much fruit, and reckless
eating of combinations, and taking liberties.
I am so deep into paying attention to my Job as Manager here
of this Space that I have disregarded my own needs.
I realize now that Spiritual Practice allowed the Essenes
to live together in Community.
I do not believe any of us can successfully live together in healthy
community of ANY KIND without Constant religious SPiritual Practice.
I am not saying Religion, I am saying religious--consistent--spiritual practice.
Spiritual Practices are the things we do each day that keep us
sane.
I am in a state of terror these days, seeking comfort outside myself.
I am way over the edge. All this comes from not doing Spiritual Practices.
Spiritual Practices are the things that keep us together. They are the things
that keep us normal with ourselves.
I once met a doctor who says that Abnormal in America needs to be the norm
for good health.
Dr. Jensen said the same thing.
Our blood count--the one that MD's consider normal is not high enough
in a red blood cell count for healing. We need an Abnormally high by the
regular norm cell count to be healthy. This requires lots of chlorophyll.
I cannot stop to tell you all the stresses I am feeling right now.
1- I want to resolve one of them today through getting to the bottom
of my letter and bill drawing, ordering the bank statements from five
accounts in the notebook..
2- Resolving to keep an active Receipt book starting now.
In it I will have the months and the receipts for business,
(and the house?). This is a key to closing the gap that will allow me
to look toward being a non-profit.
I also need to get a new mac and record keeping up to speed.
I am crippled--and an accident waiting to happen on this old Mac.
I am bothered my many things now.
I feel Dead in the Water
RE: the Buglife in the basement that is interfering with
my ability to clear other cluttered spaces that are mine.
My room--O.K. Leslie...
Focus on finishing the Sales Tax Report Today...
and this bill drawer.
Talk to Paris about getting another external drive just
for the Essene Tapes...that stays here.
My insanity is based on doing too much.
I have said that many, many times.
Success can only come from doing less,
and more simply.
I am not ready for the Zen space that
Judith talks about, but I can get sanity
through taking steps with finishing today's work
and meeting my deadlines by Aug 1 for the Pacific Symposium.
One step at a time.
I am Grateful for the Progress I am making.
I am Grateful I am taking time now to blog.
__
Completing
Sales Tax Report
http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=1175&i=17
That is one of my Spiritual Practices that makes sense
for me.
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