Nothing Wrong with me by YourEnchantedGardener Blog entry

Blog: Plant Your Dream!
by YourEnchantedGardener

Nothing Wrong with me

Nothing Wrong with me.
Some thoughts and Revelations
I am having now.

Date: 8/22/2006 11:37:48 AM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 1373 times

9:13 AM
August 22, 06

Larisa Stow at the Whole Being Weekend.
She will be back this time too,
September 22-24, 06
Idylwild, CA

Register for the Whole Being Weekend here:
http://www.TheWholebeingweekend.com./registration06_forms/registration06-0.html

See Photos of Whole Being Weekend
and read my poetry here:

http://www.lesliegoldman.com/Whole_Being_Pages/id27.htm

__
Nothing Wrong with me.
Some thoughts and Revelations
I am having now.

9:13 AM
August 22, 06

Back on track with finishing
Record Keeping.
Lots of pain in the early morning
as I awoke, mental pain.

Did not want to put up with it.
Got up and went to work.

The desktop was filled with the New Creations
of yesterday--some for the Whole Being Weekend.
so I emailed some out to get some
completes and clear the energy for the work of today.

Thinking of a call from Diane last night.
She listened the other day before the Whole Being
Preview nite to poetry with music I had put together.,
some that I will do
September 22-24.

Then later, she was there to attend the Preview.
She heard and felt the poetry inside her.

I have been encouraging her to attend the Whole Being Weekend.

The Preview was almost too much for her.

She felt she had
never been exposed to that much life energy in one
place for many years.

IT was Whole Being energy. I was there to
crystalize it, witness to it, draw it out, make it clear
that Whole Being Time is different from the
status Quo of brokenness that we are in most of our
moments.

For 72 hours, there is another set of rules.
Safety.
Openness.
Whole Being TIme.

Touching, but not necessarily what most of used to.
Eye gazing from a Soul ful space into each other.

Years ago, the weekend would end with a Trust Walk
where people partnered and one guided the other
into the arms of other partners who were led around.
Now we have what is called the Angel Walk.

Some cry. Some openly weep. Music was going on
in the background, sweet music that takes down walls.
The Weekend is geared through stages to get the
Whole Beings to this place of seeing we are this--
Whole Beings.

Even then, some who have only been exposed to sexual
feeling, do not know what to make of so much touch
that is coming from a more connected innocent place.

this kind of touch,
It is the water that most of us would like to drink
but is not available.

I have written much poetry about the Whole Being Weekend.
You can freely see some of it on the Whole Being Pages
Web site I have created.
After the Opening has a line...

"Is it possible that when Whole Beings gather
we can come away with new life?"

I put these lines on the Artwork I made yesterday
for the Whole Being Weekend.

"I wonder. What would the world be like
if people of every kind took an hour off
and hugged blindly with their eyes closed?
What would the world be like if people felt like this?"

I hope I pray,
that you too have the opportunity to enter
Whole Being Time
not just the intimacy between two people--
but the utter surrender when the Tribes really gather
and can be in Trust and Safety with each other.
The word for that is Love.

There are forces in the world--without knowing it--
that simple cannot allow such Trust and Safety
because we are so wounded, so Cracked,
that we imagine Wealth is some other thing
that can be bought and sold and Must be Controlled
as if there is not enough of everyting to really go
around if we allowed this.

There is enough Love to go around.
I know. I have felt it, and yet I too
get so stuck in imagining Love can
abandon me.

The Kind of Love I am speaking about is free
and each of us will freely give this love and share
the Universal Love through us if we know we are
Safe to do so. Most of us have just ever experienced
what I am talking about.

The Whole Being weekend is one place where this happens.

Just look at this the image of Larisa Stow.
Can you see what I am talking about?
Can you feel it?

http://curezone.com/blogs/m.asp?f=92&i=1833

Anyway--
that is not what I wanted to Blog about.

I wanted to share a line from the poem I read
Saturday night and that I read to Diane over the phone
earlier that day.

I had the 60 or more people at the Preview repeat this
line and more:

"In the midst of my dark hour,
I awaken to realize there is nothing wrong with me.
I don't need to be changed from anything.
I don't need to recover from anything.
I need to discover something.
I need to discover
I am the form this beloved universe
created for this moment to evolve itself."

The poem is long. This is just the opening.

I also lead the group in these lines from
another poem in the book
"The Rebirth of Mother Earth,"
a book I wrote in 1989:

"I am the Crack.
Can you handle a little good news?
I am not all I am cracked up to be."

There are forces inside me that are so
frightening. Things I feel.
It goes back to the enormity of the Crack
and the Crack I feel in me.

Diane was saying that the Cry I write,
that captures so much is more than a personal
Cry. She was saying it was a World Cry that
Cries for more than myself.

She spoke of wanting to help get the work out.

It doesn't make the fright any less.
There are so many times I just want to give up.
I imagine we all do at times if we are really alive.
There is just so much death around us now.
So many things coming to an end.
If Death were any closer, we would feel hands
around our neck.

And yet, the Fall Equinox--and the Rosh Hashanah--
is all about New Birth. IT is about renewal.
It takes so much Courage to imagine their
can be Renewal.

Can you do it that now?
Will you do that now?

How do I contend, make sense of all these
feelings? I am so weak is so many places,
and yet I have a Soul and an Earth Ground
that sees a way out of the Crack and material
stuck in the Crack.

It helps when I read my own writing.

Paul Brenner M.D. wrote in the intro (1986)
to my book "Rekindling of Faith."

"Leslie has breathed life into physical pain and
rejection. He speaks for those who suffer, entrapped
by silent blocked emotions.

His gift is to evoke within each reader both the joyful
and the painful memories of the past. In so doing,
Leslie brings to his audience the light of understanding
and the cure of forgiveness. Like the
Bodhisatfva, Leslie Goldman's journey is not over,
yet 'Rekindling of Faith' is a psalm that absorbs
some of life's suffering for all of us.

'I have determined to live
as a current in the stream of life.
as a grounding point for planting
peace in the body of one human.'

I have to reread this
and reead this again
in the moments when the dark
feels dark
--and I question the strength to see
beyond where I feel stuck.
The light is here too.

your eg

__

Larisa Stow at the Whole Being Weekend.
She will be back this time too,
September 22-24, 06
Idylwild, CA

Register for the Whole Being Weekend here:
http://www.TheWholebeingweekend.com./registration06_forms/registration06-0.html

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